Praying for you

[hopeifindmyself]

I often hear people saying, "praying for you" I find it very disingenuous because that doesn't really help realistically to address pain and suffering in any meaningful way. Help means different to different people. It's a lazy way of absolving yourself any from personal efforts with respect to help that people need while they demonise people as the end rope and contemplating suicide as sinning. Kindly weigh it.

 

[artificialpasta]

Or they could be sincere. Don't presume malice.

 

[Require_love]

It's often just a way of conveying your sympathies without the whole "oh I'm clear now of responsibility screw you". Most people think sympathy is important but they also have no clue how to deal with other's issues (or their own). I know it seems cheap, but most people are taught that being an emotionless rock when someone else is in distress is distasteful.

I think demonising is just pack mentality. Everyone thinks it's sinning, so it must be. In private, they probably are conflicted as well.

In the end, both behaviors are learned responses. Don't bother too much about their fakeness.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

I tend to agree. Probably most people use it superficially. On the other hand, if the person is convinced that prayer matters, and they understand more deeply the authentic Christian meaning of prayer, then, from their point of view, they are performing one of the most loving and powerful actions they can do on your behalf. Based on the feelings you're getting from it though, my guess is that those aspects are missing. It's become a cheap thing to say, unfortunately. In the Bible, the early Christians did actual tangible actions to help each other, which sounds like what you would like to see happen too.

 

[hopeifindmyself]

Or they could be sincere. Don't presume malice.

It's more about their sincerity is self centred, it's about them because it makes them uncomfortable on how it affects their worldview and psychological impacts but they are not attuned to the person and what helps means to them. They don't listen and haven't explored dark corners of their own mind to sit with others in pain without being triggered and it impacting the person suffering, they make it about them but in a warped way, it's also their self image of doing good, they are righteous. Practically, emotionally and realistically prayer has no impact in improving the suffering of others. At max it can be taken as I wish you well and hope for the best. Instead being actively involved and addressing the pain. They end up alienating and trivialising the suffering of others, by their inability to perceive a different perspective without projecting, understanding, its dismissive, lukewarm deflection. This is not genuine care, because they not attuned to other and without any bonding they won't be, it's them being inauthentic to self and likely having a disconnect to self

I tend to agree. Probably most people use it superficially. On the other hand, if the person is convinced that prayer matters, and they understand more deeply the authentic Christian meaning of prayer, then, from their point of view, they are performing one of the most loving and powerful actions they can do on your behalf. Based on the feelings you're getting from it though, my guess is that those aspects are missing. It's become a cheap thing to say, unfortunately. In the Bible, the early Christians did actual tangible actions to help each other, which sounds like what you would like to see happen too.

So it helps only Christians emotionally, hanging onto hope, it could be sense of community and not being alone in that suffering to them, a form of escapism still from the way I see if it because doesn't really bring any relief and it's not a substitute of real bonding and presence in loneliness to alleviate.
As for early Christians, I beg to differ, they are very violent and tribalistic. They persecuted many pagans and were not kind hearted. A lot Christian atrocity literature muddies the water but primary sources are still there to look for history as it was.

 

[artificialpasta]

At max it can be taken as I wish you well and hope for the best.

Yes that is how I would interpret it too. Nothing inherently fake or wrong with that. Most people aren't equipped to deal with our problems and it's not something we can expect of them (assuming these are just people you know casually, not close family).

 

[hopeifindmyself]

It's often just a way of conveying your sympathies without the whole "oh I'm clear now of responsibility screw you". Most people think sympathy is important but they also have no clue how to deal with other's issues (or their own). I know it seems cheap, but most people are taught that being an emotionless rock when someone else is in distress is distasteful.

I think demonising is just pack mentality. Everyone thinks it's sinning, so it must be. In private, they probably are conflicted as well.

In the end, both behaviors are learned responses. Don't bother too much about their fakeness.

I relate and understand your perspective. It's indeed a learned response, a bit like self soothing, convincing themselves as much to others through that way. It's more the lack of self awareness and self reflection is what gets me, not much like fakeness, that they actually believe it praying is something which actually helps someone at the end of their rope

 

[hopeifindmyself]

Yes that is how I would interpret it too. Nothing inherently fake or wrong with that. Most people aren't equipped to deal with our problems and it's not something we can expect of them (assuming these are just people you know casually, not close family).

I dont expect them to but I also don't wish these people to demonise and trivialise in moralising passion about sinning. Being dismissive, pain trivialising, judgemental is not something I take lightly, it's the start of abuse and comes from sense of moral supremacy

 

[Pluto]