Venting poverty and suicide

[blackIronPrison]

This post is just venting. I don't have any outlets for this sorta thing, sorry if this is posted in the wrong place or not allowed i havent been posting for very long. Maybe this will resonate with some of you.

I've pretty much been in poverty my entire life. My entire childhood was constantly switching from dogshit living situation to situation, getting evicted, then either breaking into somewhere or begging someone to let us stay with them. I tried so fucking hard through education and working hard to escape it but I cant. I'm approaching my late 20's and I have nothing. I'm disabled, alone, zero safety net - social, financial, or otherwise. Every essential aspect of being alive is dependent on how sick I can make myself trying to get to it. I've never been comfortable for even a day in my life. I can see my future clear as day, I know exactly where this is all headed. I need to leave as soon as I can but honestly im just scared and I feel ashamed about it but I'm just so scared I cannot do this anymore. My existence is just a drain on resources I have to figuratively kill myself to get access to. I should not be around.

Class is immutable

get out while you can.

 

[FuneralCry]

It really sounds like you've suffered a lot, I'm sorry you have to suffer so much, it's just so cruel to me how there's all this suffering in existing, I wish you the best.

 

[BrokenMindAndBody]

This post is just venting. I don't have any outlets for this sorta thing, sorry if this is posted in the wrong place or not allowed i havent been posting for very long. Maybe this will resonate with some of you.

I've pretty much been in poverty my entire life. My entire childhood was constantly switching from dogshit living situation to situation, getting evicted, then either breaking into somewhere or begging someone to let us stay with them. I tried so fucking hard through education and working hard to escape it but I cant. I'm approaching my late 20's and I have nothing. I'm disabled, alone, zero safety net - social, financial, or otherwise. Every essential aspect of being alive is dependent on how sick I can make myself trying to get to it. I've never been comfortable for even a day in my life. I can see my future clear as day, I know exactly where this is all headed. I need to leave as soon as I can but honestly im just scared and I feel ashamed about it but I'm just so scared I cannot do this anymore. My existence is just a drain on resources I have to figuratively kill myself to get access to. I should not be around.

Class is immutable

get out while you can.

I emphasize with you. I had a fairly alright childhood. I wasn't dirt poor but definitely not rich. Maybe lower middle class. It really wasn't bad, though. I developed mental health problems when I was 16 and then went backwards mentally. When I was 21 my mom got pancreatic cancer. I was on all sorts of disabling psych medications. I took care of her the best I could. My extended family took advantage of me and her in the guise of helping. They took just about everything from me including the house I grew up in. My girlfriend broke up with me and the friends I grew up with faded away.

After that I went from place to place. I got into drugs and alcohol to kill the pain. It was like whatever was left of me was just erased. I've definitely seen the dark side of humanity. This happened to me in the US, a first world country. Plus, when that happened the country was way better off then. The entire thing is fake unless you are already part of an established group, class, or at least have a strong family which clearly I did not. I wish there was a safe and painless way out of this nightmare.

In 2018 I attempted using pentobarbital and even doing that after being found I ended up in a court house lock up in chains. The system does not know what to do with people like me but at the same time they punish you for trying to leave.

 

[grapevoid]

This post is just venting. I don't have any outlets for this sorta thing, sorry if this is posted in the wrong place or not allowed i havent been posting for very long. Maybe this will resonate with some of you.

I've pretty much been in poverty my entire life. My entire childhood was constantly switching from dogshit living situation to situation, getting evicted, then either breaking into somewhere or begging someone to let us stay with them. I tried so fucking hard through education and working hard to escape it but I cant. I'm approaching my late 20's and I have nothing. I'm disabled, alone, zero safety net - social, financial, or otherwise. Every essential aspect of being alive is dependent on how sick I can make myself trying to get to it. I've never been comfortable for even a day in my life. I can see my future clear as day, I know exactly where this is all headed. I need to leave as soon as I can but honestly im just scared and I feel ashamed about it but I'm just so scared I cannot do this anymore. My existence is just a drain on resources I have to figuratively kill myself to get access to. I should not be around.

Class is immutable

get out while you can.

First- I'm so sorry life has been so difficult for you. I'm not sure where you live but in America I fully believe the system is set up to punish people for being poor and continually push them back financially in order to control the masses.

There is so much research on this, poverty is a high predictor for suicide. In a group of studies they found raising wages by just $1 USD lowered suicide rates anywhere between 3%-6%. The government is in full control of the "suicide epidemic" they just don't care enough to do the things that ACTUALLY matter. It's so frustrating to see all this useless information, medication, coping techniques etc shoved down everyone's throat when it's blatantly obvious that a huge number of suicides could be prevented by pulling people out of poverty.

 

[CravingPeace]

I am right there with you. I grew up in lower middle class and my family always had to scrape by to make ends meet, everything was one mishap away from being lost. Now I am a single-income household and I am juuust able to make ends meet, and sometimes I don't.

It creates such a huge burden of anxiety, living month by month ending up with a zero or negative balance once the bills are paid.

 

[pauly369]

Same here. Ive always been poor. Ive issed a lot of chances in life due to poverty.
We have to pay for things that should actually be free. Thousands of years ago we just lived off the land , free food and housing.
No evil banking system or filthy poloticians dictating how we live our lives and taking away our freedoms.
There is absolutely no reason for you to be ashamed ; only the evil rich people who created this system of financial slavery should feel ashamed.
Yet they never will because they are all psycopaths.

 

[lilurki]

I finally escaped poverty only for my mental health to cause me to crawl back and even further into its clutches