Method Planning on jumping within a couple of days

[GremlinCan56]

Hi everyone, so I'm planning on jumping off a bridge next to my university in London. I'm 19M

The waterloo bridge which is like 11 meters tall I think? Idk, its medium height I believe.

So I'm not counting on it taking me out from impact, the main focus is drowning in order to CTB. So the impact + drowning is the main idea.

Ik its not guaranteed to take me out or anything but very limited access to other methods, I don't know how to do anything else and I'm really tired.

So idk I walked over to the bridge several times, couldn't do it each time was sober I haven't drunk much alcohol in life so idk what that's like. Although once in september I got really close, I dropped an object to test the fall (it zipped straight down I couldn't even see it.) .

And I was told by ai about something called "Cold water shock" which can help especially since it's its winter and the rivers cold.

I am planning on using alcohol to help me do the job but I was also told the "courage effect" might not be perfect.

But the thing is I'm not even sure I don't want to experience the physical pain since it sounds so satisfying and preferable to my current pain but things always change in the moment so idk.


So overall how is this plan? Comments, advice.

Thank you sm.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Imo 11m isn't high enough, drowning isn't that easy either and don't forget there're lots of people around and also many ships on the Thames.

Why do you wanna die? If I may ask.

 

[ilovenewyork]

This is a very painful and traumatic death you're planning. Might not seem like a very good idea when you hit the water. Perhaps you could be kinder to yourself and use a different method? The end result is the same

Also you're very young for all this. Have you thought about other options? Very young to be trapped. You could maybe do anything, starting over at 19 is quite easy. But I don't know your situation

 

[zizzou]

maybe if you fall on your head/back so you'd be knocked unconcious? otherwise 11m isnt high enough

 

[GremlinCan56]

Imo 11m isn't high enough, drowning isn't that easy either and don't forget there're lots of people around and also many ships on the Thames.

Why do you wanna die? If I may ask.

Social isolation. It actually makes it incredibly hard to just survive and function.
I was brutally almost totally isolated for a long long while which was psychologically deteriorating.

Consistent bad experiences with other people.

Loneliness.

Family trauma, cultural disconnection, family sabotage even.


I'm also DONE always reaching out to services and people and always being the one to do that over and over again otherwise I'm not cared about.

I don't like the formula of life or cycles of suffering that renew all the time.

I don't genuinely believe other people are serious, I believe others are casual, unserious for the most part. I don't really care about excuses.

To me living is extremely insulting. But my feelings around life and death are really complicated.

I feel like I can go on forever but right now I can't even do anything, loneliness is crippling and I'm done "putting myself out there." Its a ridiculous circus which I don't really want to participate in. I've looked at my options for months and months and like 1.5 years intensely, and I'm done trying to make an unworkable situation work.

Like there's been enough trauma and survival, I'm just looking for an end now not 50-70 years of the same life that doesn't budge.


METHOD:

Yes but when it comes to the method I mean like I would like only ever go at 2-4am to minimize chances and only go if I don't see any pedestrians who can call the emergency line. I've read that the method can work if you like drown in time but idk.

This is a very painful and traumatic death you're planning. Might not seem like a very good idea when you hit the water. Perhaps you could be kinder to yourself and use a different method? The end result is the same

Also you're very young for all this. Have you thought about other options? Very young to be trapped. You could maybe do anything, starting over at 19 is quite easy. But I don't know your situation

Hi thank you, I've also been told by others to use a different method but again I have no idea what else to realistically do.

I don't know how to hang myself, no access to guns or medication. Also I've heard like partial suspension or whatever doesn't always work. I kinda also built up this mythology in my head already around using that bridge.

I know I'm young but that doesn't make any of what I went through okay for me or anymore survivable and I definitely do not want more of this decades out. I already lived through 19 years intensely and at some point enough is more than enough.

maybe if you fall on your head/back so you'd be knocked unconcious? otherwise 11m isnt high enough

Oh, but like not even with alcohol and the drowning thing? I kinda wanted to mainly ask about that.

 

[ilovenewyork]

Drowning is a really bad way to go. Like your lungs are on fire. Try holding your breath as long as you can, that sensation x10

 

[GremlinCan56]

Right but like thats what the cold waters meant for I guess. Like cold water shock, hypothermia or falling unconscious from the gold or like a couple minutes of struggle idk.

 

[ilovenewyork]

I put it to you that this is a terrible idea. You may well end up very disabled or have a drawn out, painful and traumatic death. You've got to get the details right here or you'll end up in a really bad place.

 

[GremlinCan56]

You're right.

The only thing I can think of is a bridge that's 28 meters tall (Itchens bridge) which I suppose would be better than the shorter bridge, and that that particular bridge is also above cold fast moving water.

I know that you put the details and your thoughts, but at the same time others sources also suggested to me that the traumatic and painful part can end quickly or like your brain can blank out fast under high trauma.

I'm trying very hard to get the details right, and thats why I haven't considered any methods viable up to this point. A lot of it is also desperation even if it has the potential to be super traumatic.

Anymore thoughts?

 

[ilovenewyork]

Does it have to be a bridge? There are other reliable and less traumatic methods on this forum if you invest the time to prepare.

At 19 it might be worth looking into counseling. Therapy helps a lot of people and if it doesn't work you can always come back to this. What's the rush?

 

[GremlinCan56]

I'm really done being patronized about my age or people assuming that I haven't tried this or that. I have already tried "therapy"and "counseling". The "rush" is that this shitty life is extreme suffering and I have suffered enough.


We tried it society's way, I tried the support that was offered and went above and beyond for months and did everything possible that a person can do and more. I'm more interested in ending this now.

I've invested enough time and I've prepared for this plenty, the other methods offered are too complex, out of reach, and are not on the timescale I want.

 

[ilovenewyork]

Throwing yourself off a bridge isn't the answer. If you want to exit plan it carefully to minimize your pain. You owe yourself that much I think

 

[Mira Gaga]

It has a very small chance of succeeding, even if you're counting on drowning. Although, you could overdose on something just before jumping or perhaps simply drinking antifreeze just as a plan b just before jumping. I've tried ingesting antifreeze. It's extremely painful. Like it was possibly the most painful method I've tried. But, if you pass out and no one finds you, it might work. I'm just saying that if you're jumping, maybe use another method as a backup just in case.

P.S. consider ricin from castor beans, if you could get your hands on it. A small quantity can be lethal, but excruciating.

 

[GremlinCan56]

apart from ricin and antifreeze what would you suggest as a plan b?

Throwing yourself off a bridge isn't the answer. If you want to exit plan it carefully to minimize your pain. You owe yourself that much I think

I mean yeah again that was the logic behind the alcohol which is why I was asking about it and how viable it is to dull pain or blur things since I do not have much experience with it.

 

[HangMan123]

Hi. So you shouldn't be doing this in the first place, but if it's unavoidable, you really shouldn't do it this way. As you said, an 11-meter fall isn't enough to kill you. After you hit the water, you'd probably be in a lot of pain and panic while you're drowning. It sounds pretty horrific. Plus—I've never been there, so correct me if I'm wrong—aren't there a lot of people and boats around that area? With a height like that and so many people around, you'd probably survive with live-altering injuries. You really should reconsider doing this is in the first place, but yeah, you should probably choose a different method if it can't be helped. I hope you find peace.

 

[GremlinCan56]

Hi. So you shouldn't be doing this in the first place, but if it's unavoidable, you really shouldn't do it this way. As you said, an 11-meter fall isn't enough to kill you. After you hit the water, you'd probably be in a lot of pain and panic while you're drowning. It sounds pretty horrific. Plus—I've never been there, so correct me if I'm wrong—aren't there a lot of people and boats around that area? With a height like that and so many people around, you'd probably survive with live-altering injuries. You really should reconsider doing this is in the first place, but yeah, you should probably choose a different method if it can't be helped. I hope you find peace.

Hi. Should I not do it just because of the height or method? Or some other life reason?

Again what about the bridge that was 28M tall? That one isn't in central London and I suppose might be monitored a tad bit less. I mentioned this bridge in another comment.


I wanted to also share that I have a bit of experience I guess since I near attempted it back in September. I got close to vaulting over the waterloo bridge and nearly did, and when I self hospitalized and called the emergency line out of survival instincts interesting things happened.

The paramedics who came, told me the coast guard only came AFTER I called the line not that they were actively searching before. There was absolutely no one around, it was 3:41am the bridge was totally barren from all angles and in the water as well.

Although I should also share that when we arrived to the hospital, the paramedic did also say someone attempted jumping off a different bridge just an hour earlier (probably westminster or something, similar height.), and was "fished out" idk if the person survived. They probably did. Not sure about the logistics end or specifics, thats just what I was told.

Also in regards to the horrific experiential aspect, what about like the fact that the brain I guess can eventually just dull the pain idk or dissociate from overwhelm I'm not sure but I read about that somewhere.

Like idk where it's horrifying but I guess like all the emotions rush so you dissociate or it becomes a "blur."

I feel like I tried to find other methods but this one still seems efficient?

 

[HangMan123]

Well I really don't want to help you any further because of moral reasons, but I was referring to both life reasons, the height, and the method. I'll just state a few facts:
1) Falling into water from that height (28m) is like hitting concrete. You will likely die, but it probably won't be instantaneous and it would be from drowning rather than the impact itself. If you land head-first, you'd probably die instantly or very quickly. If you land any other way, you'd be severely injured and probably drown if no one is around to save you.
2) While adrenaline and such does dull pain, your brain will still be in a full-on panic mode—even if you dissociate. Your body will probably automatically flail around to try to save itself and die in in vain. Probably still horrific.
3) I'm nowhere near an expert on ANY of this stuff, so you should probably do your own research.
So, yeah. Please reconsider though. Most people who survive suicide jumping attempts say that they regretted it the moment their body leapt from the railing. Deep down you probably know there's another way, and you could always just wait. Please stay safe.

 

[GremlinCan56]

Well I really don't want to help you any further because of moral reasons, but I was referring to both life reasons, the height, and the method. I'll just state a few facts:
1) Falling into water from that height (28m) is like hitting concrete. You will likely die, but it probably won't be instantaneous and it would be from drowning rather than the impact itself. If you land head-first, you'd probably die instantly or very quickly. If you land any other way, you'd be severely injured and probably drown if no one is around to save you.
2) While adrenaline and such does dull pain, your brain will still be in a full-on panic mode—even if you dissociate. Your body will probably automatically flail around to try to save itself and die in in vain. Probably still horrific.
3) I'm nowhere near an expert on ANY of this stuff, so you should probably do your own research.
So, yeah. Please reconsider though. Most people who survive suicide jumping attempts say that they regretted it the moment their body leapt from the railing. Deep down you probably know there's another way, and you could always just wait. Please stay safe.

I suppose we can stop talking about the method in order to not cross anymore moral boundaries. But I want to at least ask for your perspective on the last thing about this?

"So, yeah. Please reconsider though. Most people who survive suicide jumping attempts say that they regretted it the moment their body leapt from the railing. Deep down you probably know there's another way, and you could always just wait. Please stay safe."

So when you say, that last sentence, do you mind explaining what you mean? again this isn't about helping me with the method and I think this question is just asking for compassion.

I understand that I could just wait but it feels like everyday is a new crisis, suicidal crisis, no stability, no real safety, and it feels super difficult to just like stay steady or find anything worth staying for and I feel strongly, deeply disillusioned, unhappy, and unsupported. Like I feel like already understand the mechanisms of things and lifes cycles of suffering especially since it feels so so constant.

I think you might be onto something about the deepdown thing, like if the methods we discussed were revoked, blocked for any reason that I could just use my intelligence even if extremely miserable day by day by day to continue and I already like adapt and learn in small ways everyday or after crises and do learn a lot, but I don't really know how worth it really is persisting through this, it feels like a game tbh. I feel strongly impatient after already being isolated and struggling strongly for so long with no one helping, I'm not happy with doing more or staying longer or fighting more. So like there could be other ways in theory but I feel like this is the superior choice to anything else.

Thank you if you read this.

 

[HangMan123]

I suppose we can stop talking about the method in order to not cross anymore moral boundaries. But I want to at least ask for your perspective on the last thing about this?

"So, yeah. Please reconsider though. Most people who survive suicide jumping attempts say that they regretted it the moment their body leapt from the railing. Deep down you probably know there's another way, and you could always just wait. Please stay safe."

So when you say, that last sentence, do you mind explaining what you mean? again this isn't about helping me with the method and I think this question is just asking for compassion.

I understand that I could just wait but it feels like everyday is a new crisis, suicidal crisis, no stability, no real safety, and it feels super difficult to just like stay steady or find anything worth staying for and I feel strongly, deeply disillusioned, unhappy, and unsupported. Like I feel like already understand the mechanisms of things and lifes cycles of suffering especially since it feels so so constant.

I think you might be onto something about the deepdown thing, like if the methods we discussed were revoked, blocked for any reason that I could just use my intelligence even if extremely miserable day by day by day to continue and I already like adapt and learn in small ways everyday or after crises and do learn a lot, but I don't really know how worth it really is persisting through this, it feels like a game tbh. I feel strongly impatient after already being isolated and struggling strongly for so long with no one helping, I'm not happy with doing more or staying longer or fighting more. So like there could be other ways in theory but I feel like this is the superior choice to anything else.

Thank you if you read this.

No need to thank me; I'm home sick with pneumonia and have nothing better to do. Besides, you are a lot like me, so I kinda feel obligated to keep you alive .
If I'm being honest here, I feel the exact same way as you do (I guess you could say the "H" in my profile stands for "hypocrite" ). That's how I know that you'd regret it deep down, because I'd do the same. It's tiring, isn't it? And so lonely. Subsisting day after day not knowing why; hoping that eventually some chimeric miracle will materialize before me; dragging myself through the streets like a sloth and seeing other people happy, with company, friends. I've always been a complainer; I see this dreadful cycle as too much of a pain, of a bore. I tell myself that I'll die in 70 years anyway, so it doesn't make a difference, but deep down, I know it will.
My parents would be devastated, so would my grandparents. I feel especially bad for them since they are lonely and house-bound all day. Their memory has gone to mush, but they still put on a smile and love to see me. It would be so unfair and selfish of me, is what I tell myself. Even if you don't have a supportive family, even if you are entirely, utterly alone, just think of the person who would find your body. That would traumatize them. They would never be the same.
And seeing others like me on this site gives me hope that someday I will find someone like me, even just a friend. How great would that be?
And boy how I'm oversharing! Instead of you thanking me, I should be the one apologizing to and thanking you if you read this long, convoluted wall of text. Hopefully something in here will resonate with you and help you to stay a little longer, even just for a day would be enough.

 

[schatzbunny]

please don't make your death so traumatic. chances of you getting rescued and surviving this are also very high. if you want to jump find a building above 150 feet or 15 floors minimum with landing on solid ground. as for bridges it needs to be a lot higher. idk the exact height but ive seen it on this forum so please look into it.

 

[GremlinCan56]

No need to thank me; I'm home sick with pneumonia and have nothing better to do. Besides, you are a lot like me, so I kinda feel obligated to keep you alive .
If I'm being honest here, I feel the exact same way as you do (I guess you could say the "H" in my profile stands for "hypocrite" ). That's how I know that you'd regret it deep down, because I'd do the same. It's tiring, isn't it? And so lonely. Subsisting day after day not knowing why; hoping that eventually some chimeric miracle will materialize before me; dragging myself through the streets like a sloth and seeing other people happy, with company, friends. I've always been a complainer; I see this dreadful cycle as too much of a pain, of a bore. I tell myself that I'll die in 70 years anyway, so it doesn't make a difference, but deep down, I know it will.
My parents would be devastated, so would my grandparents. I feel especially bad for them since they are lonely and house-bound all day. Their memory has gone to mush, but they still put on a smile and love to see me. It would be so unfair and selfish of me, is what I tell myself. Even if you don't have a supportive family, even if you are entirely, utterly alone, just think of the person who would find your body. That would traumatize them. They would never be the same.
And seeing others like me on this site gives me hope that someday I will find someone like me, even just a friend. How great would that be?
And boy how I'm oversharing! Instead of you thanking me, I should be the one apologizing to and thanking you if you read this long, convoluted wall of text. Hopefully something in here will resonate with you and help you to stay a little longer, even just for a day would be enough.

Hey yeah again even though you didn't want me to say thank you. Thank you for your words anyhow.

I honestly feel a genuine peace at going, and leaving this place.

I don't have any supportive family, I've been on my own for as long as I can remember. I don't like neither my parents nor grandparents, they can fuck off.

I've already cycled through dozens of strangers and "friends" who betrayed me in a row without any care.

I don't really care or have a concept of good LONG lasting people. I don't really believe the cost of someone being traumatized at my death outweighs my very real suffering. Suffering in extreme intensity all alone to prevent people from suffering for 5 seconds? Not my interest. This place is genuinely deeply miserable and lonely, and lousy. I thoroughly hate life in everyway. No social contact, just being fed chatgpt everyday that stupid patronizing machine that fakes emotions. No real people cause they were all cowardly.

I think I'm gonna at least book a train ticket to go visit that 28M bridge even though I obviously won't jump off of it yet. Probably will find other things if I can to help with my method, but I mean those seem optional. I suppose its okay if its panic, dread, terror. All of which sound preferable to my current pain. At least it would be a thrill.

I also feel like I genuinely don't care if others like me or not or that they all find me nice. I'd far faaaar rather leave this place than suffer for a much longer period of time.

I've waited, I've tried, I've prayed. I've been humiliated all the time, I've been radically lonely, I've been through unimaginable trauma alone.

And… no one cares. Not one bit. And I'm done.

If others believe that isolation and loneliness are acceptable. Fine.

But I'm not bothering with other people any longer, I have no faith others will ever be even the bare minimum of what I need them to be.

Erasing my existence even if in the nastiest way possible, is a far better experience and outcome than staying here in my opinion. And from my perspective, idk, maybe the pain will be fun in its own way. Like the last little bits of existence fighting for life.

Better than living here.

 

[GremlinCan56]

please don't make your death so traumatic. chances of you getting rescued and surviving this are also very high. if you want to jump find a building above 150 feet or 15 floors minimum with landing on solid ground. as for bridges it needs to be a lot higher. idk the exact height but ive seen it on this forum so please look into it.

There was a list on this forum for bridges in the UK. And the 28M itchens bridge (I mentioned in another comment) was on that list. I googled the others and most have them having anti-suicide barriers installed now or are too far away.


This bridge is one of the last ones to not have any installed and apparently they're planning on adding some in 2026, so I need to go before I miss my chance.

I don't have access to a 15 storied building.

 

[HangMan123]

Yeah, I get where you're coming from. That's too bad, though. You seem like a nice person. I guess I'll give you that "I hope you find peace" platitude.

 

[GremlinCan56]

Yeah, I get where you're coming from. That's too bad, though. You seem like a nice person. I guess I'll give you that "I hope you find peace" platitude.

I genuinely deeply hope it can work and I won't be revived. I don't want to be here anymore. I wish I was never here to begin with. This life never helped me out.


I suppose when I die I won't ever have to wake up being abandoned ever again, or being told by others I was a nice person or whatever. Since it wasn't just you, it was everyone else as well.

I'm glad this world's gonna stay shit.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

I suppose when I die I won't ever have to wake up being abandoned ever again, or being told by others I was a nice person or whatever. Since it wasn't just you, it was everyone else as well.

I'm glad this world's gonna stay shit.

I can tell why no one in your life likes you