Plan/idea

[Rose190021]

lately everthing seems so clear as to what my options are. At the end of last year I gave myself one last chance to figure everything out. I'm giving myself until June. I promised myself that I'd try to be open and honest and accept help. I get motivated and then it's all gone in an instance. I know now that I need to follow through. I feel defeated, drained, and tired. I keep doing things to pass the time. I drink I do stupid shit, I crash and repeat. My dates in June but the idea is getting more enticing. I tried to overdose before but I know now that my plan needs to be firearm. I want to feel the adrenaline and not have a moment to think before I completely go black and become more alive in death than I'll ever be on earth. For now it's this site, planning, and my countdown on my phone holding me together. Does anyway else have an idea of what they want, every detail layed out before them?

 

[21Neberg]

Does anyway else have an idea of what they want, every detail layed out before them?

Ofcourse I know what I want the most, death. I have my method set, but it's not as easy as I expected. In fact, it is so much harder than I anticipated. But one day I'll succeed in hanging myself.