As I stated in my last posting, I'm on a cross country trip and the ultimate goal was to ctb. I left my family , friends , and job behind. I stayed with a life long best friend , for 3 days, and then abandoned them the same way I did the others..
Their husband texted me earlier , wishing me a safe journey and that I am always welcome back…… I feel so guilty because this man - I can't say he hates me - but he doesn't particularly like me. But he saw how much I meant to his wife , and that really has gotten me conflicted.
I texted my best friend , apologizing for my actions and spoke about how I really felt. How overwhelmed and scared I've become. I asked if we could try again and if I could come back . I wouldn't be surprised if she said no - because for me to dart out first thing in the AM would hurt anyone .. but I think it's better to know , than to live with the "what if" ..
She shut her phone off, so I'm not sure when she'll see my text message honestly.
I can't say I don't want to ctb anymore , because it's still in the back of my mind , always , but I'm willing to give things one last chance .. at least for her sake.
Their husband texted me earlier , wishing me a safe journey and that I am always welcome back…… I feel so guilty because this man - I can't say he hates me - but he doesn't particularly like me. But he saw how much I meant to his wife , and that really has gotten me conflicted.
I texted my best friend , apologizing for my actions and spoke about how I really felt. How overwhelmed and scared I've become. I asked if we could try again and if I could come back . I wouldn't be surprised if she said no - because for me to dart out first thing in the AM would hurt anyone .. but I think it's better to know , than to live with the "what if" ..
She shut her phone off, so I'm not sure when she'll see my text message honestly.
I can't say I don't want to ctb anymore , because it's still in the back of my mind , always , but I'm willing to give things one last chance .. at least for her sake.
