Venting Pet Loss

[.lvldown]

I don't want to put down my cat.
I've had him for the past 19 years (he is 21 now) and it's definitely time. I can tell, and I think my other cat (5years old) can as well. She won't leave his side.

He was the reason why I stayed here for so long. Probably the reason why my attempts never succeeded because I always felt guilty about leaving them behind so I never prepared as much as I should have.
It sounds so stupid. But my cats are the only ones who have ever genuinely been able to comfort me. I don't leave the house and I'm with them all the time. I'm very attached to them, and then to me as well. I treat them better than I treat myself. I spend more money on cat food and other supplies in a week than I do on food for myself. I think I've taken good care of him, he has lived a long life with lots of ups, downs, treats, and cuddles. But I just don't have the money to put him down and keep his ashes. I'm dreading asking my family for help.

Even then, I feel like I didn't do enough for him in the past, like I've failed him somehow. And now I'm going to lose him forever, with the potential of never getting to keep his ashes or give him a burial spot. I don't want to lose him, my poor sweet boy has been doing terribly the past few days. I want him to be in peace. I want him to feel better.

If you've lost a pet, how do you deal with this? My heart is tearing up and bleeding inside me.

 

[camelcrushlova]

im so sorry that you're going thru this difficult time, i understand the pain of losing a pet so beloved to you. i can promise you, ur cats love u and the life u were able to give them. and sometimes unfortantley , you have to make the decision to let them go . do what you feel is best for them and their comfort. if money is an issues, its okay to reach out for help if possible, or maybe start saving up. im in a similar predictimite with money so i dont have the best advice for that. it helps if u spend his last days hanging out with him, cuddling him, etc. u gave him the most u could and im sure hes so grateful for you.

 

[.lvldown]

im so sorry that you're going thru this difficult time, i understand the pain of losing a pet so beloved to you. i can promise you, ur cats love u and the life u were able to give them. and sometimes unfortantley , you have to make the decision to let them go . do what you feel is best for them and their comfort. if money is an issues, its okay to reach out for help if possible, or maybe start saving up. im in a similar predictimite with money so i dont have the best advice for that. it helps if u spend his last days hanging out with him, cuddling him, etc. u gave him the most u could and im sure hes so grateful for you.

Your words meant a lot, thank you, genuinely.. I swallowed my pride and asked my mom for help. He will be in peace by tomorrow evening..

 

[Hotsackage]

I don't want to put down my cat.
I've had him for the past 19 years (he is 21 now) and it's definitely time. I can tell, and I think my other cat (5years old) can as well. She won't leave his side.

He was the reason why I stayed here for so long. Probably the reason why my attempts never succeeded because I always felt guilty about leaving them behind so I never prepared as much as I should have.
It sounds so stupid. But my cats are the only ones who have ever genuinely been able to comfort me. I don't leave the house and I'm with them all the time. I'm very attached to them, and then to me as well. I treat them better than I treat myself. I spend more money on cat food and other supplies in a week than I do on food for myself. I think I've taken good care of him, he has lived a long life with lots of ups, downs, treats, and cuddles. But I just don't have the money to put him down and keep his ashes. I'm dreading asking my family for help.

Even then, I feel like I didn't do enough for him in the past, like I've failed him somehow. And now I'm going to lose him forever, with the potential of never getting to keep his ashes or give him a burial spot. I don't want to lose him, my poor sweet boy has been doing terribly the past few days. I want him to be in peace. I want him to feel better.

If you've lost a pet, how do you deal with this? My heart is tearing up and bleeding inside me.

i love my cuddles, ive lost a couple pets, its hard but its better they arent suffering

 

[Michelstaedter]

You could try asking for financial help in Facebook groups. I'm sure people will be able to help you with some money to help you raise for your pet's cremation, since there are people who take these cases very seriously and will support you when they learn of your situation. I'm sure of it.
Regarding getting over it, I think you only cope with it. You have to bear it and keep moving forward (if you want to continue with your normal life). Otherwise, you'll just keep carrying that pain, and the burden will be very heavy because your discomfort from yesterday will be doubled today. It happened to me with my rabbits. There were eight of them, and they died over the course of ten years. The last one died just last March. It was hard. Almost eight months have passed, but nothing has changed, only for the worse. Life isn't the same without them. You realize that people often seek you out for what they can get or if you have something to offer them, whether as friends or in a romantic relationship. Perhaps in family relationships you can feel some companionship, as in my case, but it's not enough.

In my case, I want to die. I have no reason to continue living. When my pets were alive, they were my strength to keep going in this world, but not anymore. I have no motivation, no strength, no reason to go on because I'm a NEET. I've never had a girlfriend (nor will I ever) and I won't have children either (which is good), so I have no "moral" obligation to anyone, no obligation to be in this world. If you have a bond with your family, rethink things and tell them your situation, but in my case, even though they know, this decision is well thought out and personal. I don't hate my family, but I'm afraid I'll have to leave this world that hurts so much.

 

[lawlietsph]

I'm so sorry. I've made a post just a week ago when i've had to let go of one of my cats. It was truly horrible.
Last year i've lost 2 amazing cats and my dear dog too. And I have a tiny rescue pony, who is sick with laminitis, a condition that can kill her anytime if i'm not careful enough.
I can't say anything positive other than this: time does help a little bit.
I bet your cat had an amazing life, I mean to live to this age is a super rare thing! You were the best owner, i'm sure of it.
I'm not going to lie, i do feel like every time one of my pets are dying, a part of me dies with them. It is really a physical feeling, my personality changes every single time.
Only times helps.
You need to get through the first few days, when everything reminds you of them, and you see their little toys, water bowl, little pieces of fur, etc... When you get through this, it gets easier, but even months later you randomly remember them and the pain feels exactly the same.
I'm so sorry. But please know that you can't do anything more and you already did enough.
You can adopt more little friends in the future, but personally i've promised to myself to never ever have another pet again (as selfish it sounds, I cannot bear this pain anymore).
Yeah, I know it's not enough comfort, but time will help. Again, I am so sorry and you are in my thoughts with your amazing cat.

 

[.lvldown]

Your message is so incredibly kind, ty for sharing your experience and offering comfort. It really does help more than you may know..
I made the appointment for him tomorrow and I'm dreading it. A part of me is definitely dying inside, like you said..
And I'm so sorry for your losses. You sound like an amazing and caring owner. Thank you for keeping me and my boy in your thoughts

 

[death_by_life]

I made the appointment for him tomorrow and I'm dreading it. A part of me is definitely dying inside, like you said..

I don't know what time it is where you are now, but it's evening here. How are you doing now?

He was the reason why I stayed here for so long. Probably the reason why my attempts never succeeded because I always felt guilty about leaving them behind so I never prepared as much as I should have.

I am still alive only because of my cats and horses. I have people to take them, but the crushing guilt of upending their lives - especially the cats, as the horses would stay where they are and their lives wouldn't change much - that has kept me from putting a method into place.

I hope you and your girl kitty can help each other with the grief you're probably feeling now.

 

[mjolnir]

My dog lived to be an old man, it was sad to see him near the end. He couldn't see anymore, he didn't want to eat in his last days. It's as if I knew his time was coming to an end; it would have been selfish of me to prolong his life, so even though I was sad, I let him go, I accepted that he would leave, without prolonging his pain. I still remember him fondly. I haven't had any more pets since him.

 

[.lvldown]

I don't know what time it is where you are now, but it's evening here. How are you doing now?


I am still alive only because of my cats and horses. I have people to take them, but the crushing guilt of upending their lives - especially the cats, as the horses would stay where they are and their lives wouldn't change much - that has kept me from putting a method into place.

I hope you and your girl kitty can help each other with the grief you're probably feeling now.

You get me..
Just got back from the appointment not that long ago. Doesn't feel real... My poor girl is looking around for him and she keeps sniffing and cuddling up to the blanket he passed away on.. I brought it home for her... It's so hard, I keep crying but I'm just going to cuddle her all night and hopefully get some rest, I don't think I'll be able to though... Thank you for thinking of us

 

[lawlietsph]

You get me..
Just got back from the appointment not that long ago. Doesn't feel real... My poor girl is looking around for him and she keeps sniffing and cuddling up to the blanket he passed away on.. I brought it home for her... It's so hard, I keep crying but I'm just going to cuddle her all night and hopefully get some rest, I don't think I'll be able to though... Thank you for thinking of us

I'm so sorry... How are you feeling now?

 

[Realgar]

I have found that a pet's death is more painful than a Human death. The pain I experienced when I put down my best friend ( dog companion ) was worst than any pain I felt when any of my friends or relatives have died.