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supremacyofdeath

supremacyofdeath

Member
Apr 16, 2025
49
My partner and I both struggle with mental health & specifically depression. Lately because of what feels like a lot of stress piling on we both have felt suicidal in some way.
I've began to sort of fantasize in some sort of fucked way of dying with her. She's the love of my life and the only reason I keep fighting on. Lately I can't help but wonder if she wants to go, why don't we both just do it? Though I've brought this up to which she looked at me like I was fucking crazy.
I just think it would be romantic in a way?
To go hand in hand to the great beyond.
I'd try to opt for something a little more peaceful and painless too. Cuddling together as our lungs fill with carbon monoxide or as the SN slowly suffocates us.
Does anyone else ever feel this way? Do you guys wish your partners would support your chase in death and perhaps even join you?
 
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M

monolog

Student
Oct 29, 2024
106
Fuck that my dream to get a gf and kill each other on peak of love, but it will never happen.
It would be awesome if I was young. Now it seems pointless. Probably gonna try heroine instead
 
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C

CatLvr

Enlightened
Aug 1, 2024
1,218
Jesus Christ NO! A huge part of my suicidal ideation actually started because of the way he treated me. I felt worthless and that there was nothing in this world for me. I came SO close one time -- he almost got what he wanted. But then he fucked around and pissed me off. Fuck him. (He wishes ... 🙄)
 
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supremacyofdeath

supremacyofdeath

Member
Apr 16, 2025
49
Fuck that my dream to get a gf and kill each other on peak of love, but it will never happen.
It would be awesome if I was young. Now it seems pointless. Probably gonna try heroine instead
Well at our "peak" of love we were very excited to grow old together and get married, we were each others everything's. Now she hangs out with her friends and I work all day which has sort of driven a wedge between us. Sometimes I can't help but feel like she's found someone else and that's why it feels like she's so uninterested. I want to die with her or without her before I lose her completely. She's everything to me.
 
dontletthembribeyou

dontletthembribeyou

autistic girlfailure
Mar 4, 2025
44
Definitely not. He has so much going for him.
 
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supremacyofdeath

supremacyofdeath

Member
Apr 16, 2025
49
Jesus Christ NO! A huge part of my suicidal ideation actually started because of the way he treated me. I felt worthless and that there was nothing in this world for me. I came SO close one time -- he almost got what he wanted. But then he fucked around and pissed me off. Fuck him. (He wishes ... 🙄)
I am so sorry to hear. You should be treated like you matter and are loved. But yes! Fuck abusers. May he suffer & may you get everything you wish for
 
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other-ghost

other-ghost

i need to end it
Apr 5, 2025
69
No!! Not at all. It was my dream for years, for me— it's the ultimate love, i get you so much! but not anymore, or at least not for now.
She has so much future waiting for her, she's a GREAT and ambitious person. So, now, i only wish to be deleted from her life, so she could go on further in her life.
 
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lunar02102009

lunar02102009

Lone1y_Lamp
Apr 12, 2025
50
My partner and I both struggle with mental health & specifically depression. Lately because of what feels like a lot of stress piling on we both have felt suicidal in some way.
I've began to sort of fantasize in some sort of fucked way of dying with her. She's the love of my life and the only reason I keep fighting on. Lately I can't help but wonder if she wants to go, why don't we both just do it? Though I've brought this up to which she looked at me like I was fucking crazy.
I just think it would be romantic in a way?
To go hand in hand to the great beyond.
I'd try to opt for something a little more peaceful and painless too. Cuddling together as our lungs fill with carbon monoxide or as the SN slowly suffocates us.
Does anyone else ever feel this way? Do you guys wish your partners would support your chase in death and perhaps even join you?
The thing is , if i would get my ex back i would probably lose the desire to ctb , and try to fix everything thats wrong with my life , im not saying getting her back fixes everything but it does give me the motivation to start fixing everything up , but as luck would have it she probably isnt ever gonna talk to me again nor will i find a better partner for me atleast ever in my whole life so jus living and degrading each day ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
 
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BRAINWORMS

BRAINWORMS

dust to dust
Jul 20, 2020
140
Absolutely not. I wish he could be there holding my hand when I go, but I want him to live a happy life. I feel like I'm holding him back from that.
 
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supremacyofdeath

supremacyofdeath

Member
Apr 16, 2025
49
The thing is , if i would get my ex back i would probably lose the desire to ctb , and try to fix everything thats wrong with my life , im not saying getting her back fixes everything but it does give me the motivation to start fixing everything up , but as luck would have it she probably isnt ever gonna talk to me again nor will i find a better partner for me atleast ever in my whole life so jus living and degrading each day ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I understand this, before I met my girl I was miserable. I changed everything in my life for the better for her. I quit the hard drugs, I stopped hanging with bad people, I got a job and I started taking therapy and my medication seriously (even if it just wasn't working). If she was completely out of my life I'd be absolutely broken and lost. I used to have nervous breakdowns thinking about all the things that could take her from me.

I'm sorry you lost your other half, and I hope someday you can find peace through a miracle rekindling or in the great beyond
 
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TransTaxEvader

TransTaxEvader

what's next?
Feb 22, 2025
197
Absolutely not. She's one of the greatest people in the world and deserves to have a good life. I'm sorry to do what I am doing to her. Is it selfish to stay with her? She's one of the few things that make me happy.
 
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mossrabbit

mossrabbit

Member
Apr 12, 2025
71
I'd want them to organically desire that outcome outside of my own influence. Outside of that, I'd at least want them to be present, albiet selfishly. Sadly, there's just too much risk in involving loved ones. In a perfect world, I'd want someone special with me, whether they're also catching the bus, or not.
 
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bankai

bankai

Wizard
Mar 16, 2025
653
I'm not currently in a relationship. But yes, I would like a nice woman to cuddle and die with.
 
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Droso

Droso

Born, survive, reproduce, die.
Dec 23, 2024
149
Yes, I would like to ctb with my boyfriend. But he is not suicidal and that is something I would not ask him to do because he does want to live. My reasons being: I don't want to be alone while I die and I do not trust him to not call 911 while I'm passing (he respects my choice, but seeing someone you love die? Who knows what could happen), and the fact that he really relies on me for stability. He has been abused all of his life in almost every way imaginable. He's strong, but I worry that once I am gone that he won't be ok. Plus he knows I plan to ctb and he would have to keep it a secret that he never stopped me.. I feel as if that would rip him apart. That's why I want him to go with me.

I know these are selfish, but I'm not ashamed to have these feelings. I don't find the want or fantasy fucked up tbh, I actually think it's natural to feel this way when you have someone you care deeply about.
 
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Grav

Grav

Elementalist
Jul 26, 2020
817
No. She is the opposite of me in most ways so she should enjoy her life and friends.
 
encore

encore

when stars align
Nov 14, 2024
109
yes, and it was the plan, but things changed and i'm left to ctb on my own
 
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Tumblewillow

Tumblewillow

Member
Jul 28, 2021
27
Ew, no. I want him to move on and be happy.
 
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Stan Swiftie

Stan Swiftie

Student
Apr 3, 2025
102
My partner and I both struggle with mental health & specifically depression. Lately because of what feels like a lot of stress piling on we both have felt suicidal in some way.
I've began to sort of fantasize in some sort of fucked way of dying with her. She's the love of my life and the only reason I keep fighting on. Lately I can't help but wonder if she wants to go, why don't we both just do it? Though I've brought this up to which she looked at me like I was fucking crazy.
I just think it would be romantic in a way?
To go hand in hand to the great beyond.
I'd try to opt for something a little more peaceful and painless too. Cuddling together as our lungs fill with carbon monoxide or as the SN slowly suffocates us.
Does anyone else ever feel this way? Do you guys wish your partners would support your chase in death and perhaps even join you?
WTF is wrong with you?
If I had the love of a woman, I wouldn't want to CTB.
My forever alone & miserable pointless pathetic existence needs to end because beautiful women are repulsed by me & always have been.
Except my ex-wife. And I fucked that up
23 years alone & empty.
#FME
 
supremacyofdeath

supremacyofdeath

Member
Apr 16, 2025
49
WTF is wrong with you?
If I had the love of a woman, I wouldn't want to CTB.
My forever alone & miserable pointless pathetic existence needs to end because beautiful women are repulsed by me & always have been.
Except my ex-wife. And I fucked that up
23 years alone & empty.
#FME
Of course she's the love of my life, but she's been sick for months now. I try to be there for her but she keeps it all to herself.
Nothing I can do is enough to see her smile anymore. We were once so close, each others everything; I think the honeymoon phase ended and she's over me. (I'm her first relationship ). Everything turns into an argument now. It's a miracle to even talk to her.
She's hinted at wanting to break up but I don't know if it's because I'm the stressor or if it's just the depression talking and she wants to cut ties before she attempts. (She's had really close hanging attempts in the past; prior to us meeting)
But she'll never tell me which one it is.
either way, I'll die. Whether it's with her or without her. But I also don't want to be the dick and go "I'm gonna off myself if you die". I will but not in the toxic way. In the romantic way of I can't live without you.
 
Subhumano

Subhumano

I dont have friends
Apr 20, 2025
166
If I had a girlfriend I would no longer want to kill myself
 
moonflow3r

moonflow3r

Knocking on heaven’s door
Oct 6, 2023
198
Oh dear no, I wouldn't wish this pain on them. What I chose to do it's my own desicion I don't want to drag anybody along
 
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F

Forveleth

I knew I forgot to do something when I was 15...
Mar 26, 2024
1,874
I care about him so little anymore I honestly could not answer this question. So long as I die, I do not care what happens to him.
 
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L

lonergirl_26

Member
Sep 1, 2024
65
Yes and no.
I think I'm in love with the idea of it. The thought of dying with the person i love most makes me feel peace.
Realistically no. I don't love him enough for it to be with him.
 
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LittleMagician

LittleMagician

Student
Apr 17, 2025
190
No, my partner isn't suicidal and I would never want to rob someone I love of life when they want to have the desire to live
My partner and I both struggle with mental health & specifically depression. Lately because of what feels like a lot of stress piling on we both have felt suicidal in some way.
I've began to sort of fantasize in some sort of fucked way of dying with her. She's the love of my life and the only reason I keep fighting on. Lately I can't help but wonder if she wants to go, why don't we both just do it? Though I've brought this up to which she looked at me like I was fucking crazy.
I just think it would be romantic in a way?
To go hand in hand to the great beyond.
I'd try to opt for something a little more peaceful and painless too. Cuddling together as our lungs fill with carbon monoxide or as the SN slowly suffocates us.
Does anyone else ever feel this way? Do you guys wish your partners would support your chase in death and perhaps even join you?
 
  • Like
Reactions: BlueLock
BlueLock

BlueLock

Member
Nov 8, 2024
43
No absolutely not, I personally think its morally awful and a manipulative thing to do. The thought that I might have coerced someone I love to into dying when there was a chance theyd choose to live revolts me. And I don't want anyone I love to suffer just because Im gone. I certainly don't want anyone to die bc of me.
 
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harleen

harleen

witch
Apr 19, 2025
13
Yess!! I don't think she'd want to though and it would be hard to convince her as we are long distance. I have always loved the idea of a double suicide❤️❤️
Yes and no.
I think I'm in love with the idea of it. The thought of dying with the person i love most makes me feel peace.
Realistically no. I don't love him enough for it to be with him.
"I don't love him enough for it to be with him." LMAOOOO
 
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bankai

bankai

Wizard
Mar 16, 2025
653
The idea is romanchic however no,i came alone and alone i shall leave.
 
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AnonymousL

AnonymousL

Arcanist
Apr 5, 2023
420
Ideally , yes.
But this is not something you can expect from your s/o.

It would give me peace and comfort. Dying in each others arms. Being comforted while I take my last breath. Knowing we will stay forever together in whatever comes next.
 
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