bennay
Lost traveler
- Sep 2, 2021
- 111
Once upon a time,
I was happy, life was going great, I had a home and just gotten married to the love of my life, despite the struggles that life threw, I had someone who would help me through it, for better or worse. Until, one horrible night, some drunk, swerved into our lane and crashed into us. I had to watch the horrific site of my beautiful wife dying for 3 days.
Now, I'm still here just existing, with PTSD, depression, insomnia, chronic pain and grief. My body hurts all of the time, I have no energy. Doctors do nothing but prescribe sedatives and say "it'll get better" I'm told "in time things will be fine" but the truth is, it won't.
Sometimes in life things happen that just wipe out everything you have in you. I see motivation quotes and get angry and just want to puke. I get mad that I have to suffer because to the world "it's the right thing to do". I'm pissed that people are still expecting of me when I have nothing to give.
Look at the world, we are destroying it for money and killing each other everyday. I've gotten to a point of being detached. I'm done doing this, I want to be in a place of pain free and hopefully be with my wife again. This just feels like nothing more than a materialistic life. Am I selfish for this? I guess I still have this thought in my head because of society that even though you lose things important to you that dying isn't the answer and that your soul won't be accepted but I want to believe that no matter what the afterlife will bring peace and love back to me.
I was happy, life was going great, I had a home and just gotten married to the love of my life, despite the struggles that life threw, I had someone who would help me through it, for better or worse. Until, one horrible night, some drunk, swerved into our lane and crashed into us. I had to watch the horrific site of my beautiful wife dying for 3 days.
Now, I'm still here just existing, with PTSD, depression, insomnia, chronic pain and grief. My body hurts all of the time, I have no energy. Doctors do nothing but prescribe sedatives and say "it'll get better" I'm told "in time things will be fine" but the truth is, it won't.
Sometimes in life things happen that just wipe out everything you have in you. I see motivation quotes and get angry and just want to puke. I get mad that I have to suffer because to the world "it's the right thing to do". I'm pissed that people are still expecting of me when I have nothing to give.
Look at the world, we are destroying it for money and killing each other everyday. I've gotten to a point of being detached. I'm done doing this, I want to be in a place of pain free and hopefully be with my wife again. This just feels like nothing more than a materialistic life. Am I selfish for this? I guess I still have this thought in my head because of society that even though you lose things important to you that dying isn't the answer and that your soul won't be accepted but I want to believe that no matter what the afterlife will bring peace and love back to me.
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