Other people are like drugs

[NaturalBornNEET]

But with only negative effects. Whenever I enter the presence of other people it's like a different part of my brain activates and I can't switch it back to my "sober" in control solitary state no matter how hard I try. And it's not even like it's masking cuz I'm not trying to be any way, my mind is just going static and I just wanna have the composure and authenticity I have when alone.

 

[galaxid]

Damn same here. I get like that online a lot. How do I not act like a hyperactive toddler the second I'm around other people? I'll say that masking is one of those things that can be intentional or subconscious. The way I react sometimes doesn't align with how I feel, because how I feel is something I've been masking because its socially unacceptable to say how I feel. Its like I've got this pavlovian response to human contact. Idk if it feels like that for you.

 

[NaturalBornNEET]

Damn same here. I get like that online a lot. How do I not act like a hyperactive toddler the second I'm around other people? I'll say that masking is one of those things that can be intentional or subconscious. The way I react sometimes doesn't align with how I feel, because how I feel is something I've been masking because its socially unacceptable to say how I feel. Its like I've got this pavlovian response to human contact. Idk if it feels like that for you.

Yeah my avoidance even extends to online, I'm hesitant to even open a reply I get to something lol.

A lot of how I respond too is heavily filtered by my fear of saying something out of pocket or just not being able to express myself and coming off incoherent, and there are some times where I just say something obscene and out of character that embarrasses me, which I hate cuz it's not even like oh I'm just being myself and others find it cringe, but instead something takes over my mind and causes me to say something dumb I wouldn't say alone talking to myself. Maybe it has to do with hanging around certain types of people and trying to adapt to their sense of humour and personalities but just utterly failing.