Opened up to my mother

[persepexa]

I told my mother exactly how I felt (except for the suicidal thoughts), how I feel so ashamed of my crime, how guilty I feel for what I put them through, how hopeless the future seems. I thought opening up would feel better but it just feels worse. I wish I had kept my mouth shut and just given the usual "I'm fine, how are you?" answer I normally give.

 

[sickboy55]

How did she react?

 

[persepexa]

How did she react?

She was trying to convince me that things will get better, also reminding me how she begged me not to get into trouble. All in all she just made me feel worse. She got very sad and said she was very worried about me. Which made me feel worse.

 

[Valky]

She was trying to convince me that things will get better, also reminding me how she begged me not to get into trouble. All in all she just made me feel worse. She got very sad and said she was very worried about me. Which made me feel worse.

Honestly, I feel like this is the immediate after effect of talking about it. You will both need the time to process it and think about it more rationally.
Your mother seems to care and that she does not want to push the guilt onto you but show that she has your best interest in mind.

 

[DivineSpark]

My mother is closest to me in my family, I dont want to make her worried about me...so I pretend I am fine. Gotta pretend no matter how intense suicidal thoughts I have.