I won't tell anyone if they should or should not ctb, it's not my decision. but I really hope everyone thinks and tries everything else first, there's no going back after a suicide, no getting better we are just dead. that being said I found a pro life site and have found a way to live. im going to keep trying to live because I still have days with a little joy. because of my pain I think about ctb every day but have learned to redirect my thoughts most days. other days are closer and a couple almost did, my wife stopped me once. like I said i'm going to keep trying and hopefully not ctb and I hope everyone thinks hard about it first. no judgement
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