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Harry Callahan
Feb 12, 2023
250
everything about me is so backwards and ironic. it feels like my existence was just a joke by some cruel, bored creator.
nothing can just be correct, nothing can just make sense, nothing lines up.
this body isn't mine, it has never felt like mine. i was born in the wrong body. my emotions are never not conflicting with each other. i don't know how to explain it. it's like i have two brains that are incapable of thinking the same thing; an additional, separate conscious. it's not a simple case of mixed emotions or a subconscious. there's so much noise in my head and i'm overwhelmed. there's no main mind overpowering a subconscious, it's all the same. everything is so disorienting, i can't describe it.

i couldn't be given anything that i wanted, i couldn't even be given something objective and consistent in my life. i feel like ive switched or merged bodies with some stranger.
i'm so exhausted, i want it to stop
 
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