Not sure id actually want a funeral

[Raven2]

This sounds ridiculous because I wont be there but I'd be embarrassed to have a funeral as I wouldnt have that many people attend. I have a small family and I'm not a popular person by any means.
I think there would be like 15 people turn up.

I went to a funeral recently for a much older person who was popular and had lots of people attend who she knew through her hobbies. Like over 60 people went.

I know it would give family closure but I think I may ask for direct cremation so no one attends a ceremony.

It just makes me cringe. Also I worry about what they would say in my eulogy. I dont have hobbies, loads of friends or 'light up a room when I walk in'. I'm a miserable fuck, pretty anti social and am mostly by myself. So there would be no positives to talk about me tbh.

Anyone else feel like this?

 

[Grav]

If you leave a note you could state you don't want a funeral. Your survivors may do it anyway but you won't be there. I've told my wife to have a big dinner vs a funeral but knowing her there will be some ceremony.

 

[Raven2]

If you leave a note you could state you don't want a funeral. Your survivors may do it anyway but you won't be there. I've told my wife to have a big dinner vs a funeral but knowing her there will be some ceremony.

Not sure if they would listen to my final wishes or not

 

[Grav]

Yep its something you can't control. It'll be something more for them to process the situation, imo. I'm not a church person but i know my wife will have a church service and I'm fine with that, she knows my thoughts on it. My one thing for a funeral is to have tunes i like play. People who really knew me would hear them and say "ya, he loved that song/band" and those there for show won't have a clue.

 

[LimpandNumb]

My plan is for cremation, short service but I want 'another one bites the dust' playing. My people understand my sense of humour.

 

[RinneOfAragon]

I have a small family also. This is due to my mum immigrating here. Most of her family spread over the globe. similar with dad plus he was an only child. I think I'd probably have about 20 people maximum. I knew of a lady who lived near where I used to. She died in 2023 and only her sister claimed her. No funeral at all. I think she was cremated. I felt sad about that for her. She was really mentally ill though but from my memory was harmless and sweet. She used to feed the birds and wildlife. Like others have said the funeral is for your family. Even if it's a small one it will be important to them to say goodbye. I feel similar to you but I think my family would pad out the funeral with poems and hymns. I think it would be a pretty short service though.
At the moment I'm not so worried about that even though I did think about it and cringe like you.
@Raven2 .

 

[Raven2]

I have a small family also. This is due to my mum immigrating here. Most of her family spread over the globe. similar with dad plus he was an only child. I think I'd probably have about 20 people maximum. I knew of a lady who lived near where I used to. She died in 2023 and only her sister claimed her. No funeral at all. I think she was cremated. I felt sad about that for her. She was really mentally ill though but from my memory was harmless and sweet. She used to feed the birds and wildlife. Like others have said the funeral is for your family. Even if it's a small one it will be important to them to say goodbye. I feel similar to you but I think my family would pad out the funeral with poems and hymns. I think it would be a pretty short service though.
At the moment I'm not so worried about that even though I did think about it and cringe like you.
@Raven2 .

the funeral I went to had songs and a reading aswell as the eulogy. It was a short service only 30 minutes. It was a cremation and they left the curtains open until we all left which I thought was a nice touch. The curtains closing seems to be so final.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Well, I'm not having a funeral, at least not one paid by any of my money. I have that stipulated in my will. First, there are absolutely ZERO people to come to it - no family, no friends. Right to the crematorium I go. Had a funeral for my mom when she died a few years ago. Not really a funeral, so much, I guess. Had no visitation simply because there wasn't anyone to come to it, also. All her friends were dead and her sister, as well. At the cemetery it was just me and a preacher I got to say a few words. Nothing special. Had to use funeral home people to carry the coffin, since there was just no one left in family to do so. Even without visitation and NO embalming (mom was German), the whole thing still cost $12,000.00+ US including the casket. Funerals are a complete racket. They "get" you when you arrive here at birth ($$$$), while you're here "living" ($$$$), and they get you AGAIN when you leave by death ($$$$).

 

[RinneOfAragon]

the funeral I went to had songs and a reading aswell as the eulogy. It was a short service only 30 minutes. It was a cremation and they left the curtains open until we all left which I thought was a nice touch. The curtains closing seems to be so final.

oh yeah, I agree that's a lovely touch. 30 mins I think would be a sweet spot then people can chat afterwards round at the house or pub in a more relaxed atmosphere. x x

 

[Raven2]

Well, I'm not having a funeral, at least not one paid by any of my money. I have that stipulated in my will. First, there are absolutely ZERO people to come to it - no family, no friends. Right to the crematorium I go. Had a funeral for my mom when she died a few years ago. Not really a funeral, so much, I guess. Had no visitation simply because there wasn't anyone to come to it, also. All her friends were dead and her sister, as well. At the cemetery it was just me and a preacher I got to say a few words. Nothing special. Had to use funeral home people to carry the coffin, since there was just no one left in family to do so. Even without visitation and NO embalming (mom was German), the whole thing still cost $12,000.00+ US including the casket. Funerals are a complete racket. They "get" you when you arrive here at birth ($$$$), while you're here "living" ($$$$), and they get you AGAIN when you leave by death ($$$$).

I agree we get fucked over money wise whatever the situation. But my, that's so expensive $12k.
I think here it's about £1800 for a direct cremation probably not including a coffin.

 

[RinneOfAragon]

I agree we get fucked over money wise whatever the situation. But my, that's so expensive $12k.
I think here it's about £1800 for a direct cremation probably not including a coffin.

£1800 still seems steep just for a cremation. Price has gone up so much .

 

[hereornot]

I dont want a funeral too.

 

[Raven2]

£1800 still seems steep just for a cremation. Price has gone up so much .

Well that's what I thought!! I looked at the price list at the funeral and it was only priced at £500 Im guessing that's just for using the crematorium.

The funeral directors local to me are priced at £1800 I dont know what that covers though.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I agree we get fucked over money wise whatever the situation. But my, that's so expensive $12k.
I think here it's about £1800 for a direct cremation probably not including a coffin.

I paid a little $1000 US for the prepaid plan I setup for myself. Yeah, it is expensive for a funeral. Would have been more with embalming and to use the funeral home facilities for viewing. The casket was around $6000. I have no idea what they did for the other $6000, but they were cheaper than other places.

 

[Halfhourdays]

I always wanted to put the fun in funeral by having my body animatronically play guitar at my own funeral. Like those creepy Chuck E Cheese dolls.

 

[Hollowman]

I definitely don't want a funeral. Nobody would come. I wish I lived near an ocean so I could weigh myself down and drown in deep water. A volcanoe would work too lol. Just disappear so no one else could profit off of me. I'm so tired of being exploited. It'll probably be cremation for me at someone else's expense. I'm always poor.

 

[JobuLio111m]

Same here. I hope a sea lion or some other oceanic carnivore eats my body and hopefully it gives back to the world even a little bit.