• Light/Dark
  • Hey Guest,

    We wanted to share a quick update with the community.

    Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.

    👉 View the ledger here

    Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.

    If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC):
    Ethereum (ETH):
    Monero (XMR):

Not gonna be around for Xmas

H

hailtothevic

Member
Oct 28, 2020
11
HI guys. I'm done with life. Done with my NUMEROUS untreated and ignored mental health issues. Done with my piece of shit body and the oh-so-many health problems I have. Tired of having no friends and people giving me shit for being queer. I'm tired of this fucking life, of being the family fuckup and therapists who don't give a shit and I want it all to just fucking STOP! I'm ready to CTB sometime this week. Tonight if I can. Does anybody know how to calm myself down before I go? The only reason I haven't before is anxiety (because my brain can't make up it's fucking mind. Are we staying or going, you dumb lump of fuck!?)
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
  • Aww..
  • Love
Reactions: Hennessy, daddy Phil :), voyager and 19 others
Astronomer

Astronomer

Mentally, i'm in space, in reality, i am in hell.
Oct 6, 2020
155
Just wanted to say,
I am straight and that's fine also being gay or bi sexual is fine too, fuck them people you do YOU!

All my love
 
  • Like
  • Love
  • Hugs
Reactions: daddy Phil :), Meditation guide, Ghost2211 and 5 others
Time to fly

Time to fly

TTFN - time to fly now
Nov 3, 2020
255
Can't give any advice but am sure if you search around here you will get something...just want to say you are among friends and can vent with everything you have...many here have decided on ctb and support all the way through is available...you are not alone and will be remembered and missed on here
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Meditation guide, Ghost2211, Silvermorning and 4 others
U

Umbrellaterm

All parents are evil incarnate
Oct 22, 2020
308
You are ctbing because you like boys as a boy?

Putting yourself in all different situations where you are reminded life sucks can help. I would also suggest opiates for SI or delusional feelings of hope.
Astronomer said:
fuck them people you do YOU!
Click to expand...
Good, good. Let the hate flow through you
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
Reactions: Ghost2211
LenkaX

LenkaX

Maybe there is a hope!
Aug 14, 2020
366
I'm on the same boat. I'm determined to quit this 37 years long bullshit nonsense before Christmas or ideally till the end of November.

I had just bad luck in my life, no good luck at all. Bad situations, bad people, bullying, bad health, bad genetics and I also made some very wrong choices and ultimately I lost 0.5 million dollars because one jerk stole my SW code in 2013 and few days ago I found that he made such insane amount of money (I can prove but it but I can't do anything about it. I don't have money and nerves for international courts and lawyers).

So my survival instinct is very diminished now. I know that 2020 is my final year. I also have everything I need for CTB (SN, metoclopramide and such stuff).
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Hopeindeath!, Meditation guide, Ghost2211 and 5 others
depressedsally

depressedsally

Dead
Nov 6, 2020
234
hailtothevic said:
HI guys. I'm done with life. Done with my NUMEROUS untreated and ignored mental health issues. Done with my piece of shit body and the oh-so-many health problems I have. Tired of having no friends and people giving me shit for being queer. I'm tired of this fucking life, of being the family fuckup and therapists who don't give a shit and I want it all to just fucking STOP! I'm ready to CTB sometime this week. Tonight if I can. Does anybody know how to calm myself down before I go? The only reason I haven't before is anxiety (because my brain can't make up it's fucking mind. Are we staying or going, you dumb lump of fuck!?)
Click to expand...
Hope your ok that's probably a stupid question right now I know
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: Ghost2211 and x~Sophia~x
Deleted member 17949

Deleted member 17949

Visionary
May 9, 2020
2,238
I don't really wanna be around for Christmas but I do kinda like the novelty of Christmas presents so I am thinking about it
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: depressedsally, Huntfish34 and x~Sophia~x
H

hailtothevic

Member
Oct 28, 2020
11
depressedsally said:
Hope your ok that's probably a stupid question right now I know
Click to expand...
I'm... well alright is wrong phrase. I'm alive. I'm thinking of finding a place that's secluded enough for me to do it without interruption. That's what been keeping me on this miserable rock. Too many people trying to "save" me
Umbrellaterm said:
You are ctbing because you like boys as a boy?

Putting yourself in all different situations where you are reminded life sucks can help. I would also suggest opiates for SI or delusional feelings of hope.

Good, good. Let the hate flow through you
Click to expand...
Its not just cause I'm queer (I'm a black African,so anything besides straightand cis is a bad idea) it's everything. I can't do anymore and please don't try to talk me out of this
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Silvermorning, depressedsally and Time to fly
Lupgevif

Lupgevif

.
Jul 23, 2020
928
I'm sorry that life put you into such a rush to go. Sucks doing it feeling like you couldn't even take your time.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Lostandlooking
K

Kruger

Arcanist
Dec 26, 2019
481
hailtothevic said:
HI guys. I'm done with life. Done with my NUMEROUS untreated and ignored mental health issues. Done with my piece of shit body and the oh-so-many health problems I have. Tired of having no friends and people giving me shit for being queer. I'm tired of this fucking life, of being the family fuckup and therapists who don't give a shit and I want it all to just fucking STOP! I'm ready to CTB sometime this week. Tonight if I can. Does anybody know how to calm myself down before I go? The only reason I haven't before is anxiety (because my brain can't make up it's fucking mind. Are we staying or going, you dumb lump of fuck!?)
Click to expand...
Oxazepam is very effective
 
  • Like
Reactions: depressedsally
U

Umbrellaterm

All parents are evil incarnate
Oct 22, 2020
308
depressedsally said:
S
Click to expand...
If that's a yes then I'm just gonna say that any of these uncertain cocktails are highly unreliable and will most likely put you in a coma or make you a vegetable.

Do you wanna take a chance?
The rest of your life in a wheelchair looking like someone with downs syndrome that forgot how to swallow saliva?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Saponification
Venting Thinking about doing it.
Replies
0
Views
100
Suicide Discussion
Saponification
Saponification
T
I'm sick and tired of life.
Replies
4
Views
329
Suicide Discussion
geepeedee
geepeedee
H
Venting I hate being an ugly stupid tranny so much
Replies
4
Views
272
Suicide Discussion
franos666
franos666
Al_stargate
One fuckup and it's all gone
Replies
2
Views
292
Suicide Discussion
itsgone2
I
apeaceofmind
Venting Almost drowned earlier this year and i wish it happened(vent)
Replies
3
Views
169
Suicide Discussion
DarkFriend.
DarkFriend.
Top Bottom