No tolerance for happiness

[Starfire]

Why is it that I get upset when I'm happy? I don't get it. I don't understand. Like I always have these mixed emotions where I get conscious abt being too happy or abt enjoying things or situations a little too much. I always feel like I have to stop myself if I get too excited or happy even when I know I'm not supposed to. So, even when I'm really enjoying something, I always end up getting upset and mad.

I hate myself.

 

[greebo6]

This is very common in people with depression ,anxiety ,etc...Don't feel like you are the only one. And don't hate yourself .Its not your fault.

 

[sadworld]

Same thing happens to me, you're not alone.

 

[Starfire]

I just wish I can enjoy the rare good events and opportunities that come in my life rather than trying to drown the feeling as quickly as I can because I feel like I'd be a million times devastated by the succeeding events. I don't want a brief amount of joy to give me a false hope that I can truly survive the rotting deadness in me. I feel like experiencing a small spark of happiness just adds up to the torture that I'm feeling once it's suddenly gone. So I just kill it myself..

 

[greebo6]

I do it sometimes too. Its frustrating.