No one knows me

[Throwaway478953b]

They only see the outside. They think they do. But no one knows me.

No one understands me.


I tried so hard but at the end of the day the system wins. I try to explain myself to them but all it takes is one little tug from the system and they forget me.



I am scared of being alone.
I am scared of having no hope and losing everyone.
I am scared of going to Hell.

But I am already completely alone, in hell, with no hope and I've already lost everyone since I never truly had anyone to begin with.

So what is there to be afraid of? I'm already living it.




I'm done running away.
Lying to myself.
I'm going to be completely alone and suffer forever.
I'll bite the bullet on having my world and everything burn.
I'll take it. I'll take the worst thing imaginable.


I want to be free. I want my suffering to mean something. I want to suffer for myself and not for the benefit of greedy human scum.

 

[Donewith_]

I know how it feels. Yeah but for me, it's different . I distanced them from me. I wanted someone to understand me, none was there. I got habituated. Sorry you are there.

 

[StillWaiting]

I tried telling others indirectly but no one cares.
I used to believe I have someone to fall back on but never once people willing to listen and care about me.
l know how it sucks to feel that way. I am sorry that I don't really have a solution for you

 

[weedoge]

I think the person who knows the most about you is the one who agrees that they can only make guesses about your experiences, and not truly know them. A person who understands that understanding is a process rather than a destination. If you're ready to make a judgement or form an opinion or idea or image of a person through observation but no interaction, you really understand nothing. It's really only possible to understand somebody if both parties wish for understanding to be had.