No CTB Progress

[Leichter Kampfwagen]

Despite being almost halfway through the year, I've made 0 progress towards my new years resolution of dying before 2026. I have no impetus to do it. If I had no money or family it would be easier, as right now I just exist with minimal effort exerted. When I was working the thoughts were so much stronger and the pain was immense. Now it's just numbness. Who knows, maybe I would just be homeless and still be unable to execute.

I also have no reason to acquire any materials or pursue any method. I've held a gun to my head, stood at one of the 10 tallest bridges in America, had a nitrogen tank for inert gas asphyxiation... Just couldn't execute. So if I got a gun or SN or nitrogen, I know I'm unlikely to do anything with them. It's been 3 years since I thought I would actually kill myself with the nitrogen. How much longer must I wait?

 

[bl33ding_heart]

Despite being almost halfway through the year, I've made 0 progress towards my new years resolution of dying before 2026. I have no impetus to do it. If I had no money or family it would be easier, as right now I just exist with minimal effort exerted. When I was working the thoughts were so much stronger and the pain was immense. Now it's just numbness. Who knows, maybe I would just be homeless and still be unable to execute.

I also have no reason to acquire any materials or pursue any method. I've held a gun to my head, stood at one of the 10 tallest bridges in America, had a nitrogen tank for inert gas asphyxiation... Just couldn't execute. So if I got a gun or SN or nitrogen, I know I'm unlikely to do anything with them. It's been 3 years since I thought I would actually kill myself with the nitrogen. How much longer must I wait?

It's natural to be hesitant towards suicide, even if you feel like you desperately wanna die. There's no need to rush, even if it's been years. It's important to make such a permanent and undoable decision with certainty and precaution. I hope you're able to come to the right conclusion for yourself.

 

[Tired_birth_1967]

The question " how long to wait" has no answer. You will know when you are ready.