All week I felt calm when thinking of buying a gun on Saturday. Then the day comes and I couch rot, my stomach in knots, which become painful. I was exhausted from not sleeping well all week but took a seroquel to knock me out.
Woke up at 4 convinced I had once been told I have early signs of cancer in my heart and lungs. But I had never done anything about it. I panicked. Logged into mychart and was looking through all my results looking for it. A nightmare, but I was convinced it was true.
This went on for a while. Hours. Why? So many reasons I'm here. I'm done. It's over. Why this pain? Why do nightmares exist? Life has too many terrors I can't take it anymore
Woke up at 4 convinced I had once been told I have early signs of cancer in my heart and lungs. But I had never done anything about it. I panicked. Logged into mychart and was looking through all my results looking for it. A nightmare, but I was convinced it was true.
This went on for a while. Hours. Why? So many reasons I'm here. I'm done. It's over. Why this pain? Why do nightmares exist? Life has too many terrors I can't take it anymore
