Hi there new member here.
I'm still so unsure about whether I want to ctb or not, it's been a daily struggle battling the thoughts constantly. Suffered with depression for what seems like forever and I have tried therapy and medication recently but nothing seems to just get rid of the constant pain. I feel just like a completely empty shell. I've had a fairly "successful" with obtaining degree and a fairly decent career out of it. I don't have any past traumas or abuse etc, but my mind just sees that as I'm a fake and undeserving of depression which fuels it. I've tried forcing good habits which I did pick up and worked on, but very the last few months I've just become more and more exhausted trying to fight and fake my way through life. I feel as though I am now at or just past breaking point and ctb is the the only option to just stop people worrying about me and I can get some peace.
I'm still so unsure about whether I want to ctb or not, it's been a daily struggle battling the thoughts constantly. Suffered with depression for what seems like forever and I have tried therapy and medication recently but nothing seems to just get rid of the constant pain. I feel just like a completely empty shell. I've had a fairly "successful" with obtaining degree and a fairly decent career out of it. I don't have any past traumas or abuse etc, but my mind just sees that as I'm a fake and undeserving of depression which fuels it. I've tried forcing good habits which I did pick up and worked on, but very the last few months I've just become more and more exhausted trying to fight and fake my way through life. I feel as though I am now at or just past breaking point and ctb is the the only option to just stop people worrying about me and I can get some peace.
