Venting Never thought I would be back on here

[Frogchan]

Last time I was active on here I attempted my life. Didn't realize vinegar and bleach doesn't work as much anymore and was admitted. I went through intensive outpatient, weekly therapy, etc. for some moment during treatment I felt alright, I didn't want to die.

But now, that's completely undone itself.

I have BPD, my emotions change rapidly and recently they've been too much. I was kicked out of therapy due to having to reschedule constantly. I didn't like my second round of intensive outpatient, I hate my psychologist.
I've been having issues with my best friend which is contributing to me wanting to die.

I understand dying is just a way to not feel this anymore. But honestly I just want to die because I feel like my life has been lived and there's no reason for me to struggle this much. No matter what therapy I go through, I just can't shake these feelings away. I feel like I'm forced to suffer just so I don't upset people in my life.

 

[human909]

Welcome back, i am so sorry for the pain and suffering you going through. I hope you will find peace soon.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand feeling so tired of suffering, I just wish to be free from it all as well, it's cruel to me how there's all this suffering in existing. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[CatLvr]

Welcome back. I'm really sorry you are having such a rough go of it.

 

[trapdoor]

I also have BPD, so I understand a little more than most. I hope that you find peace soon.

 

[avamako10123]

I also have been diagnosed with BPD, and I understand how it is with the struggle. I too feel like my emotions are overwhelming. I know this might not help you find peace, but I hope this brings you comfort in knowing you're not alone. I only hope for the best for you, with whatever you chose. <3