Help never enough

[CaliguIa]

Ive started my healing journey, but Im afraid it wont work out. Im tired, I just want to be normal and have some fun. It pisses me off how ppl can just live without worries and be fun and spontaneous. I just cant and probably never will. I have fun sometimes, but its like, idk it doesnt feel right. I will always be a broken sad kid, Itll never be enough. At least if I cant have fun I just want to be at peace. I dont want to put the effort, I dont want to learn another lesson. I wish I could disappear from this stupid world. But CTB is just another obstacle without turning back, and there is still a small drop of hope that things will be fine someday.

 

[meowingnomore]

i think anyone with mental illness needs to let go of the idea that everything will just be great someday. ur brain isnt a switch and life doesnt work like that, its a constant uphill battle to maintain a sense of hope and joy and relapses into darker places are almost always gonna happen. the good side of things absolutely exists, but its not a wall u can just climb over and be done with it. if u can come to terms with that then u should try ur hardest to go for it.

 

[CaliguIa]

I know that. Im just tired, weak and emotionally exhausted. Im tired of living alone in the dark, without being capable of feeling anything good. Its like the good side is not for me. When something good happens, I just cant see or feel it. I know there is no switch in the brain and that life wont be great. I just want to feel joy before Its too late.