My testicles are cysts.

[brassicasaur]

I feel a lot of sexual shame. I feel like a monster every time I get aroused. I'm also a trans woman. Every waking moment I have working testicles is torture. I want to get rid of them. I need to get rid of them.
I'm going to catch the proverbial bus if I can't lose my testicular function soon.
Is there any way of killing the function of my balls without actually cutting them off?
Because if I can't do that, I'm going to be killing myself.
I've heard of the Everclear method, but I'm British, so I can't obtain 90% alcohol at a store.

 

[k1m]

Don't do anything like this without a doctor. You have a lot of time, and you can fully transition and be the person you want to be.

 

[brassicasaur]

N

Don't do anything like this without a doctor. You have a lot of time, and you can fully transition and be the person you want to be.

Not on the NHS... they would take 50 bloody years to give me an appointment.

 

[notanormalguy]

Im sorry you are going through this, are you on hrt? If your on estrogen + testosterone blockers for a while they can start to atrophy, and antiandrogens in general you may get ED too. ssris can stop you from getting aroused. GnRH agonists might work but I don't know much about them.

N

Not on the NHS... they would take 50 bloody years to give me an appointment.

Yeah the waitlists fucking suck, diy is an option.

 

[Namelesa]

Its god awful that its so hard to get trans healthcare in UK with how stupid the wait times are and we just have to suffer with the forced changes our bodies have on us. As the person said above if you haven't gotten on hrt yet then do so. Is the biggest problem just the sexual arousal or also the need to get rid of testosterone for gender dysphoria or other sakes? Cus if its mostly just the sexual arousal then there is probably some other thing to decrease libido. I am a trans girl too by the way and have suffered gender dysphoria from mine (sometimes to the point of wanting to try the risky ways of getting rid of them) when I had them and always had back of the mind anxious about hrt being not enough and me becoming more masculine again some how but now have actually had orchiectomy (and scrotectomy) but thats through private and thats sadly expensive (again this world sucks with how hard it is to get trans healthcare).

 

[GhostInTheMachine]

As mentioned above me, DIY is an option. I highly recommend you find a british trans support group that can help line you up with access, although cost may also be an issue. I feel your pain about the testes, I still have mine while on HRT and I want them gone, but I can't afford the procedure any time soon.

 

[brassicasaur]

I have gotten DIY HRT... my mum, who I live with, found it, and threw it out.
I should mention that, since I'm 22 years old, she can't legally do that, but I have no other place to live.