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Cam

Cam

Suicide is an investment in the future
Aug 2, 2021
10
I'm a Canadian, who spent life taking big risks in search of big reward.

I traveled a lot in my 20s, am mid 30s now and settled down in the Philippines with my wife, 8 cats and a house.

For the past 4 years I've been working online, usually pretty motivated, building a company and making good money

We lost a big client at the beginning of this month, which pretty much means time is running out. Without them, opportunities to live well are scarce. If I decide not to ctb savings will dwindle to a point where living will make me want to ctb. Or I could hustle and find more clients, but I'm just tired. I want to go out on a high note.

I panicked upon losing them and messaged a bunch of contacts, hurting my reputation in the industry I'm in.

No one can relate to me, no one's coming to save me. I have a bit of money saved up which will all go to my wife, which she can use to build her life up back from where she's from.

The final hail Mary I have is a potential big client here who I though was going to sign, we were excited and motivated and had 3 or 4 positive calls with each other.

That was a week ago and I haven't heard back since sending the proposal and contract. They're pretty much my last lifeline.

I think I fucked the contract up, it was a dummy one my friend sent me and I didn't fully edit it to reflect my services, also I left the payment option as my personal bank account rather than company info so they may have been sketched out and thought it was a scam. Which it's not, I have an office here ready to go, and begin recruiting people for their projects.

If they reach back, who knows, maybe things will work out but otherwise I have nothing and savings are being eaten away by the day.

My current clients barely pay the bills, and tbh it's just tedious work at this point. They'll all eventually flake at some point or another.

So, I've been lazing around, sleeping a lot, getting drunk, playing video games and feeling like a scumbag. Caught between two realities, one where death is the only option and two, if things go through with this client, a happy and ambitious life with my wife.

I'm trying to prepare for the worst case scenario and looking up placed to buy SN online locally or have it shipped here. So far, no luck. One company said my transaction seemed suspicious and canceled.

So I dunno, if anyone has any tips on how I can procure SN here I'd appreciate it.

Otherwise, I figure an intro post can hurt.

Hoping this week for good news regarding this client.

If not my full time job will be procuring SN and again any tips are appreciated.
 
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NextSummer

NextSummer

Experienced
Mar 28, 2019
278
If it's about the end of the business and wealth level, I'd say you will suffer for a time emotionally but you will get over it. If you fall down to a tiny apartment with no wife, it's still worth living. I am talking as somebody who experienced loosing nearly everything. My personal limit is homelessness, but if you are above that, I'd personally say don't act on impulse. Hope you will get that client though. All the best
 
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Cam

Cam

Suicide is an investment in the future
Aug 2, 2021
10
Under normal circumstances that would make sense, but I'm living in a 3rd world country with 0 social security. Homelessness would be inevitable if I don't land this
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,439
It sounds really stressful what you are going through. I hope things work out for you with the client. However if you decide to exit this world then I wish you peace.
 
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