My SN arrived but I’m feeling a bit better

[ljknljnlkjn]

I have such a weird feeling in my stomach from having a box of SN.

I'm not feeling acutely suicidal right now, because I'm indulging myself everyday and not worrying about the future. But I know that the things I'm worried about are still there, and that there might come a time where I go back to wanting to die.

I know that that version of myself will be happy that I did the preparations so that I have a more peaceful version to go, but I just wish I didn't need to that right now. I'm so scared of dying, i don't know if I'll ever feel ready, it feels like I'm being forced to do it by the circumstances and because I actually want to die. Fuck..

 

[FieCher]

I have such a weird feeling in my stomach from having a box of SN.

I'm not feeling acutely suicidal right now, because I'm indulging myself everyday and not worrying about the future. But I know that the things I'm worried about are still there, and that there might come a time where I go back to wanting to die.

I know that that version of myself will be happy that I did the preparations so that I have a more peaceful version to go, but I just wish I didn't need to that right now. I'm so scared of dying, i don't know if I'll ever feel ready, it feels like I'm being forced to do it by the circumstances and because I actually want to die. Fuck..

I think your feelings are pretty normal, you are not alone!
But please, don't force yourself to do it while not feeling like it- just because you have it. You can do it anytime when you are sure now, keep that in mind.