My mom asked me to wait to ctb until after she dies

[Hollowman]

It's crazy that it's gotten to the point that she'd say that. She knows that psych wards and meds won't do anything for me.

She's close to eighty and in good health. I don't hope for her to die or anything but I've been ready to ctb for years and my life sucks.

I barely have the will to do anything anymore. I really don't want to hurt her but the thought of going on like this isn't realistic. I'm tired of being tired.

 

[LigottiSchopenhauer]

This is a difficult issue. It's admirable that you want to respect your mother's wishes, but you also have your own life to live and you have the right to make your own decisions. In my honest opinion, I think you should do what you want to do with your life and your body. Your parents decided to bring you into this world, but you have a right to decide whether you want to continue being in this world.

 

[Namelesa]

You don't have to listen to her if you don't want to. She was the one to create you so she is obligated to lessen your suffering, not you to lessen her suffering. She is being selfish for wanting you to continue your suffering so she doesn't have to suffer her absence. You are doing more than you are morally obligated to by continuing life for her so if you choose to ctb before she dies then you shouldn't have to feel guilt for that decision.

 

[Nothing Left]

Honestly, I feel like that's fair, as long she's not a narc.

 

[Hollowman]

You don't have to listen to her if you don't want to. She was the one to create you so she is obligated to lessen your suffering, not you to lessen her suffering. She is being selfish for wanting you to continue your suffering so she doesn't have to suffer her absence. You are doing more than you are morally obligated to by continuing life for her so if you choose to ctb before she dies then you shouldn't have to feel guilt for that decision.

Yeah I know I don't have to listen to her. I suppose I still have a little hope but it's probably delusional thinking. She's definitely being selfish.
A couple years ago I told her my life's not worth it and she said "she's worth it" If she could experience the level of my suffering she wouldn't have said that.

Honestly, I feel like that's fair, as long she's not a narc.

The thing is is I'm broke and can't find any motivation to go back to my dead end job. Or get a different job. She helps me out but she's not rich. I'm facing having to move back in with her. Death sounds better.

 

[Mooncry]

You don't have to listen to her if you don't want to. She was the one to create you so she is obligated to lessen your suffering, not you to lessen her suffering. She is being selfish for wanting you to continue your suffering so she doesn't have to suffer her absence. You are doing more than you are morally obligated to by continuing life for her so if you choose to ctb before she dies then you shouldn't have to feel guilt for that decision.

Louder for the people in the back, goddamn…

 

[Breebly]

A couple years ago I told her my life's not worth it and she said "she's worth it"

This irritates me so badly. It's unreal how some people expect us to stay on fire to keep them warm. She really just said who cares if you're suffering; what counts is that she's comfortable.

As someone who's had to move back in after moving out, I can tell you w absolute certainty that it will make you feel magnitudes worse. I'm literally only hanging on rn bc I don't trust anyone else to care for my dog, but otherwise I would've ctb long ago.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand feeling so tired of it all, I also feel so tired of suffering in this existence, to permanently cease existing and never suffer ever again really is all I wish for. But anyway I wish you the best.