My love life is good, but stressful

[Ditto]

I met a guy online last year and we grew VERY close, I know a lot about him already and he knows a lot about me. A few months ago he asked me to be his girlfriend, Me personally I'm not the type of person to be in a long distance relationship because I love physical touch. But It's been pretty good! He means a lot to me and I don't know what I would do without him. When he doesn't respond I feel like he hates me. I can't distance myself from him or else I don't know what I would do. I feel like the world revolves around him from this point. Before my love for him was healthy and now.. I'm not really sure what it is anymore. Maybe obsession? (I have BPD if this helps people get a bigger picture.) Every night when he goes to bed I start sobbing because I miss him and I wish I could talk to him all night. I seriously don't know what's wrong with me. I can't tell my family because they don't support online relationships which is reasonable but I have a lot of proof that this person is real, I've over analyzed everything, I've video called even and we have each other's addresses and schools.

(I'm an 18 year old senior going to college after a gap year btw!!)
We plan to apply to the same college soon and It'll be great. I can't wait to actually see him in person. But I don't know what I would do if I cant afford it. I can't live without him I feel so empty when he doesn't reply to me after 5 minutes. I don't know what's wrong with me please help.

 

[xinino]

Satge 1: we grew VERY close
Satge 2: I feel like the world revolves around him from this point
Stage 3: When he doesn't respond I feel like he hates me, I can't distance myself from him or else I don't know what I would do
Stage 4: I feel so empty when he doesn't reply to me after 5 minutes, he goes to bed I start sobbing because I miss him

I think stage 4 is developing, though your desire might turn to control behavior in the future.

I think your experience will differ when you meet him, I think your feelings are transient, resulting from the lack of physical security and connection.

This is only my opinion.

 

[mars_b4rz]

Hi there! I've been in a long distance online relationship once before and I'll do my best to offer some of my personal experience and insight that came along with that.

Long distance relationships by nature are going to make it much more difficult to express all your thoughts and feelings given that you're constrained to communicating in mostly text and choppy video calls. One thing I found invaluable for me was making an effort to communicate my concerns with the other person

If I were in your situation right now, I think I would start by telling your partner what you're worried about! No matter how silly it is, it's not good to bottle it up. Just talk about it and don't fear judgement. And If they end up judging you then they clearly don't understand the value that being open and honest has to offer. Ideally, you should get to a point where you feel like you can discuss almost anything no matter how crazy or silly it may seem with the other person.

So yeah my advice is just communication. I hope you found any of this at all useful!

 

[Ditto]

Hi there! I've been in a long distance online relationship once before and I'll do my best to offer some of my personal experience and insight that came along with that.

Long distance relationships by nature are going to make it much more difficult to express all your thoughts and feelings given that you're constrained to communicating in mostly text and choppy video calls. One thing I found invaluable for me was making an effort to communicate my concerns with the other person

If I were in your situation right now, I think I would start by telling your partner what you're worried about! No matter how silly it is, it's not good to bottle it up. Just talk about it and don't fear judgement. And If they end up judging you then they clearly don't understand the value that being open and honest has to offer. Ideally, you should get to a point where you feel like you can discuss almost anything no matter how crazy or silly it may seem with the other person.

So yeah my advice is just communication. I hope you found any of this at all useful!

thank you so much

 

[mars_b4rz]

thank you so much

Let me know if you have any other questions/concerns