Venting My LDR boyfriend cheated on me

[Loveyounever]

I'm in a LDR, we met online, and we've met and this is our second time flying him out and spending time together, i took his phone to put it on the charger while he slept, and couldn't help myself, I looked through his messages and found exactly what i was looking for, he texts them all just the same as me, i love yous and all, i wasted a year and a half of my life on him, I don't understand why nobody will truly love me I don't want to feel like this anymore i just want to ctb, he's here for another week, i won't say anything i dont want to ruin our time together i just want to stop suffering

 

[Dark Window]

Sorry to hear that.

Nothing you can do but accept some people are shit and hopefully you'll find something else.

It's not your fault that he cheated, but try to analyse the sort of person he is and the sort of person you are.

Do you have good boundaries? Are you desperate and willing to overlook to much?

 

[EvisceratedJester]

What does LDR stand for?

 

[dolemitedrums]

What does LDR stand for?

Long distance relationship.

 

[Onelegman]

I know I'm going off topic and you don't want to hear this but... why did you look at his messages? In addition to being disrespectful and distrustful, you invaded their privacy, something that, depending on where, is a crime. You talk about "he" but I don't know if you are a woman or a man... women are forgiven for this type of attitude but if a man does it he is a sexist, extreme rightist, oppressor, rapist and murderer, all together.

Have you never heard the phrase "blessed ignorance"? You could have perhaps had a happy life without knowing this, but you decided to look.

Everybody Lies - Dr. House

 

[Ash]

I know I'm going off topic and you don't want to hear this but... why did you look at his messages? In addition to being disrespectful and distrustful, you invaded their privacy, something that, depending on where, is a crime. You talk about "he" but I don't know if you are a woman or a man... women are forgiven for this type of attitude but if a man does it he is a sexist, extreme rightist, oppressor, rapist and murderer, all together.

Have you never heard the phrase "blessed ignorance"? You could have perhaps had a happy life without knowing this, but you decided to look.

Everybody Lies - Dr. House

What the actual fuck?

And for what it's worth, House is a misogynistic prick.

 

[rozeske]

What the actual fuck?

Sounds about right!

@Onelegman Gaslighting much?

 

[Onelegman]

Come to Spain and you will know what is happening here...

Looking at a woman gets you a fine and you spend three days in the police station. That is only part of what men suffer in terms of laws. If the one you've looked at is a feminist, you can spend 2 years in jail. No joke, just looking

 

[rozeske]

Come to Spain and you will know what is happening here...

Looking at a woman gets you a fine and you spend three days in the police station. That is only part of what men suffer in terms of laws. If the one you've looked at is a feminist, you can spend 2 years in jail. No joke, just looking

So cheating and wasting someone's time, money and energy is the consolation prize for what? For finding respecting women and abiding by the law to damn hard and tough life?

 

[Tesha]

@Loveyounever I'm sorry you were put in this position. While you may not see it now, this really isn't about you - it's about that lying dickwad, useless piece of shit. If it was about you, he wouldn't also be doing it to others.

Please look after yourself and your own needs right now - he's not worth the air you exhale.

 

[Onelegman]

So cheating and wasting someone's time, money and energy is the consolation prize for what? For finding respecting women and abiding by the law to damn hard and tough life?

I don't understand what the translator is telling me, I'm sorry.
Consolation is dying I guess.
I'm not going to continue writing in this thread, it's a vent thread (which I think should be offtopic since it has nothing to do with suicide) and the girl just wants to be given advice on what to do. The truth hurts.
Another problem in this world in my opinion, many people need to be told what to do instead of thinking or confronting a situation, mental illness prevents us from acting. I am not the exception.

 

[rozeske]

I don't understand what the translator is telling me, I'm sorry.
Consolation is dying I guess.
I'm not going to continue writing in this thread, it's a vent thread (which I think should be offtopic since it has nothing to do with suicide) and the girl just wants to be given advice on what to do. The truth hurts.
Another problem in this world in my opinion, many people need to be told what to do instead of thinking or confronting a situation, mental illness prevents us from acting. I am not the exception.

Yeah, it could be the translators confusion because you are all over the place and not making any sense when you usually are logical.

Op I'm sorry for your experience. He is a disgusting fucking pig for doing that with no deep explanation except that he is a disgusting fucking pig. Some people are just that. You are better off knowing when you did than later on.

 

[Loveyounever]

I know I'm going off topic and you don't want to hear this but... why did you look at his messages? In addition to being disrespectful and distrustful, you invaded their privacy, something that, depending on where, is a crime. You talk about "he" but I don't know if you are a woman or a man... women are forgiven for this type of attitude but if a man does it he is a sexist, extreme rightist, oppressor, rapist and murderer, all together.

Have you never heard the phrase "blessed ignorance"? You could have perhaps had a happy life without knowing this, but you decided to look.

Everybody Lies - Dr. House

I know it was wrong to but I had reason to suspect and honestly I just needed to know for sure and he would have never admitted to it

 

[Ash]

I know it was wrong to but I had reason to suspect and honestly I just needed to know for sure and he would have never admitted to it

Of all the comments on this thread, that's the only one that does not deserve a response. Just saying. Whatever the rights and wrongs (and I've cheated in the past so feel able to say that the person I cheated on would have committed a lesser wrong had they looked through my stuff than what I did), you are better what onelegman said in his posts was pure misogynist bile and you do not deserve that. Please believe me and the other people posting on here.

 

[Roadrunner]

Of all the comments on this thread, that's the only one that does not deserve a response. Just saying. Whatever the rights and wrongs (and I've cheated in the past so feel able to say that the person I cheated on would have committed a lesser wrong had they looked through my stuff than what I did), you are better what onelegman said in his posts was pure misogynist bile and you do not deserve that. Please believe me and the other people posting on here.

I'd like to echo this statement. you deserve to know, and you deserve better. You must be an incredibly strong person to even want to continue the rest of your time together, and "not ruin it". Take care of yourself!

 

[AmericanMary]

Not open to talking about anything involving CTB, but if you need someone to vent to.. feel free to DM me. I'm assuming you're a women. If you're not then pls don't. I have built my entire adult life around protecting myself from men.. i get it. Sending hugs if consensual.

 

[ChildrensITV]

I know I'm going off topic and you don't want to hear this but... why did you look at his messages? In addition to being disrespectful and distrustful, you invaded their privacy, something that, depending on where, is a crime. You talk about "he" but I don't know if you are a woman or a man... women are forgiven for this type of attitude but if a man does it he is a sexist, extreme rightist, oppressor, rapist and murderer, all together.

Have you never heard the phrase "blessed ignorance"? You could have perhaps had a happy life without knowing this, but you decided to look.

Everybody Lies - Dr. House

I'm probably the most "men's right's movement"-minded, antifeminist person here. I believe women live better lives than men with more safeguards for when they fail. e.g. we can't sell feetpics in a pinch and nobody cares about us, especially when it's wartime - ask the men who aren't allowed to leave Ukraine while the (Ukrainian refugee) women are in Italy buying Prada handbags and finding new boyfriends on Tinder. I get that there are double-standards when it comes to the sexes, women get shorter prison sentences for the same crimes..... Bla bla....yadda...

And I don't defend @Loveyounever going through his messages. It was an invasion of privacy. But having said that, how can you attack her for finding out her boyfriend was cheating? This is victim-blaming 101. If her boyfriend had done nothing wrong then the focus would be on loveyounever, but she was in the right here. Are you suggesting she should have stayed in ignorance?

Don't make us sound unhinged. There is a time for speaking up for men, but this isn't that time, brother.