AfriQuark
Member
- Jul 18, 2025
- 11
Well, it's probubally pathetic and I suppose an embarassing attempt especially since it had a 0% chance of actually working. But I keep thinking it.
Be me. Loser. Got no friends, no relationships, no fiancés. No reason to live, I Simply exist, watching everyone else experience the world. Avoids having my existence disturb others. Not welcomed anywhere.
So I Decide to finally kill myself. I Take the antidepressants that have been ignored for months and finishes the whole bottle. I goes to bed, then hours later wake up sick and puking, a lot. Too sick to do anything, shivering constantly, bedbound for days. Can't eat. I convince parents that just sick and exhausted from over-exercise.
Unfortunately I survive. I got a call for a job interview while in bed and decide to go despite still being sick. I'm still shivering and drousy while at the job place and do the job interview like nothing happens. I was ghosted of course, never even told I didn't get it. But by the following week I return to regular life.
Nothing changed. No friends, enjoying nothing, looking forward to nothing, existing for nothing. Just silently at my corner to avoid getting in people's way. I kept shivering through another whole week while quietly watching life go without me.
Be me. Loser. Got no friends, no relationships, no fiancés. No reason to live, I Simply exist, watching everyone else experience the world. Avoids having my existence disturb others. Not welcomed anywhere.
So I Decide to finally kill myself. I Take the antidepressants that have been ignored for months and finishes the whole bottle. I goes to bed, then hours later wake up sick and puking, a lot. Too sick to do anything, shivering constantly, bedbound for days. Can't eat. I convince parents that just sick and exhausted from over-exercise.
Unfortunately I survive. I got a call for a job interview while in bed and decide to go despite still being sick. I'm still shivering and drousy while at the job place and do the job interview like nothing happens. I was ghosted of course, never even told I didn't get it. But by the following week I return to regular life.
Nothing changed. No friends, enjoying nothing, looking forward to nothing, existing for nothing. Just silently at my corner to avoid getting in people's way. I kept shivering through another whole week while quietly watching life go without me.
