My good thing is gone so now I’m back

[Tired&Drained]

I've never posted in recovery so sorry if I don't do it right, I've had depression for a long time and relationships are my way of escaping, even though a lot of that isn't even the person it's me dreaming about them in between the meetings, day dreaming about them and thinking to myself if I get through this I'll see them again and it will be okay for a little bit. They broke up with me and now I don't know what to do, now there's no safe space where I just feel okay, and whatever I do get I'll have to force my limbs to move when they just want to give out and stop this, I feel like a junkie just desperately going from one high to the next.

Can this be stopped? Is it possible for me to be okay by myself and not lose the will to live whenever the nice person in my life leaves?

I need medication and therapy and so much bullshit not to kill myself and I don't even know if it's worth it, even before the breakup I was getting worse, spending more and more of the day asleep and if I'm not I'm using Skyrim to make time go as quickly as possible, I really just want to go to sleep and never wake up again but I also don't wanna hurt my family

 

[jodes2]

I'm sorry you're suffering so much all I can suggest is you use dating apps or sites to try and find someone who's compatible. Good luck getting help, I hope it helps making time pass is tough sometimes

 

[Nillionaire]

I've never posted in recovery so sorry if I don't do it right, I've had depression for a long time and relationships are my way of escaping, even though a lot of that isn't even the person it's me dreaming about them in between the meetings, day dreaming about them and thinking to myself if I get through this I'll see them again and it will be okay for a little bit. They broke up with me and now I don't know what to do, now there's no safe space where I just feel okay, and whatever I do get I'll have to force my limbs to move when they just want to give out and stop this, I feel like a junkie just desperately going from one high to the next.

Can this be stopped? Is it possible for me to be okay by myself and not lose the will to live whenever the nice person in my life leaves?

I need medication and therapy and so much bullshit not to kill myself and I don't even know if it's worth it, even before the breakup I was getting worse, spending more and more of the day asleep and if I'm not I'm using Skyrim to make time go as quickly as possible, I really just want to go to sleep and never wake up again but I also don't wanna hurt my family

Yeah, I can relate to resting all of my happiness on another person. It was somewhat helpful interacting with more people online instead of just trying to pass time by myself. I at least have a couple people who I'd look forward to talking to. It's not a lot, but it helps to make it more bearable. There's so many people in a similar situation, and of those there's surely some you'd get along with. You just have to go looking and you'll find someone.