My anxiety has been killing me-

[Bunnybrains]

Hi there- guess i dont have much to say but i feel like for days and days, from the very second i wake up in the morning till the moment i put my h3ad down my anxiety feels like ur in a pool to deep to touch, and u can just barely keep ur head above water. Its getting to me- i feel like i never rest, just dissociate.

I think im rambling here but ig the question is how do u guys manage dread? Its like always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I've had this before, and it usually gets much better when im in school or working because it giv3s me something to source self confidance from. Like- something to prove im not *total* garbage. I just wish it would let me sleep- i feel like a horrible friend and i have no money to keep me on my meds or therapy or even just the basics for my bunny. What keeps you here when you just wanna off urself this weekend?

 

[andaira2k]

Hey bunny.boy.,
so reading your post, I would assume that you have those thoughts and feelings, when you're not doing / working on anything, as you've mentioned, that it gets better at school or work. I don't think that you even have to prove that you are not "garbage", since everyone has their own traits and skills on something and nobody deserves to be called this way. I am not sure, but I would recommend trying out new hobbys like maybe some clubs / sports, to keep you active, which should make you able to get rid of that feeling. Try to make some plans for the day once you wake up / before you go to bed and try keeping yourself busy, which should give you the feeling, that whenever you atleast try to accomplish these goals, you won't have time to get this feeling anymore.
Best of luck! :)

 

[Logos]

I double what andaira says.
Sorry that these intense emotions have become a constant for you.
Working seems to give you a sense of purpose, and is linked to your stress with not being able to afford very important things.

So perhaps even some kind of hobby that could get you more income (even if it is a small amount) would be a good bridge between purpose and income. There's also trying to figure out why you feel like a terrible friend so you can patch that part of your social life. There's a lil feeling of safety/sanity in that I think.
But something bothers me here- since from the way you worded things, this season of anxiety likes to pop up without a warning and stay intruding upon each waking moment. This means you're likely gonna fight this again in the future, so preparing for this happening in the future would be good. (Preparing to comfort yourself, to give yourself time for mental breaks etc.)

As for dealing, managing, coping with that dread and anxiety, and not letting that kill you, I'm not too sure. Mainly because extreme anxiety isn't why I get suicidal thoughts or the want to die.
The only coping mechanism I sometimes use that I think may help you is imagining that if I would help someone exactly like me, maybe that's cause enough not to die here. And I've done, just absolutely terrible and disgusting shit in my childhood. It's the guilt, shame and complexity that I am that ensnares me.

So, to the complexity that is you, I wish you luck too.

 

[noxu77]

If you have the time to read, which I do not force you to do so, it's about a method that is 1.5 times more effective than prescriptions in reducing anxiety. <this thread here> and what andaira said was pretty good