Celerity
shape without form, shade without colour
- Jan 24, 2021
- 2,767
Like many people, I tend to cycle through relative ups and downs. The fact that I count periods of anxious, aimless energy as "ups" betrays how far I've deteriorated.
Still, I get attached to certain people and places during these times, like some small part of me is desperately grasping for reasons to stay.
Here I am, drunk and sad about how I won't ever get to see her again when I CTB. I will never again gaze upon her beautiful hair and eyes and want a life I can't have. I'm going to be dead within the year, and I want her eyes to linger on me like mine do with her.
I almost wish I was more miserable at the moment so that I would have nothing to miss.
Still, I get attached to certain people and places during these times, like some small part of me is desperately grasping for reasons to stay.
Here I am, drunk and sad about how I won't ever get to see her again when I CTB. I will never again gaze upon her beautiful hair and eyes and want a life I can't have. I'm going to be dead within the year, and I want her eyes to linger on me like mine do with her.
I almost wish I was more miserable at the moment so that I would have nothing to miss.
