I'd never wish to exist, I see existence as an abomination that just causes harm and suffering with no limit as to how much agony one can feel, to me human existence is the most torturous, unnecessary burden that just feels like a mistake to me, I'd personally always prefer to not exist no matter what, non-existence is all that's desirable for me, the thought of being trapped in this existence just to die tortured by old age is really horrific to me.
More than anything I wish I never existed and I never should have suffered in this existence at all, I'm so tired of being burdened with this existence, I was never meant for any of this, I just want some peace instead, permanent non-existence really would solve everything for me it's all I hope for, for me non-existence is all that's positive, I'd personally be so relieved to have the option to fall asleep permanently and never suffer ever again, I'll always find it so undesirable to exist no matter what.