Venting missing people who hurt you

[reiII]

I guess since I'm here I'll get more things off my mind
Lately I've been manically yearning for my groomer. I'm not sure if this is associated with me missing my younger years and thinking they were happier (no, I cried just as much, but maybe it was a tiny bit better being a kid with no expectations) or not.
Regardless he made me feel loved in a way no one else can now. I loved being called a doll and a princess. But now I hold everyone else up to that standard I feel. Or do I? I don't understand myself anyway, I've given up on that endeavor
I've never had a traditional relationship with another boy where we fall in love, we hold hands and kiss. I've never had an actual relationship that wasn't long distance. I've only ever tried to meet with older men on dates for money in real life

I want to talk to him again, to make him feel sorry for what he created, but more than that I just want to give my entire self to him. So that part wins. But the thing is he likely knew it was wrong so he never told me personal details about himself, showed me his voice or any of his social medias. He won't respond to my messages on the game we used to play, it's been months since he last logged in. Why did he make me feel like I mattered so severely only to abandon me. You're the only one I've ever wanted to love in every way.
Flippy, I hope you live the life you deserve
I hope that it hurts

 

[kenma0]

hello, i miss someone who hurt me too. i think its a little normal. we all want someone to love us, and sometimes shitty people can do a really good job at loving us, while having their own agenda.

my ex cheated on me last year, came back, used me for sex all of 2024, only to throw me aside for the girl he cheated on me with. i still love him and wish it was me he was with, but to cope, im trying to find anger, a sense of hatred for him instead. its hard to hate someone who did horrible things to you when your self esteem is low.

i know your situation is different, but you deserve to be loved, not groomed. what they put you through isnt your fault. but i completely understand wanting someone like that back. its a hard mind game you play with yourself.

people who bring disfunction into other's lives tend to do it with every relationship. im sure they will get the karma they deserve

 

[Kanashii]

I definitely miss the people who hurt me. It is indeed normal.
I miss the people who manipulated me because I felt loved knowing I was making someone happy, even if I particularly didn't enjoy it at times.

I also miss my groomer too as he actually loved me and sometimes would just listen to me if I had things to vent or any concerns and would even give me advice about what to do in certain situations.

I wish I didn't miss people like that in my life but I do. I also miss my manipulative ex which was my last relationship. It hurts because I knew he was obsessed with me and although he made me do things, and changed my thinking and kind of closed me off to certain friends at times, I missed the fact that he was obsessed, and most likely still is. I see him change his status all the time knowing it's about me, and it some what makes me happy.

I know it's a bad idea to contact them again though so I kind of second guess myself and end up not doing it, as much as I would like to. I have people around me who say it's a bad idea too, and who hate him because of what he did to me. So in the end I really think of it as being not worth it, but I still miss him so much anyway?

It's kind of strange how our brains work sometimes.