Over and over and over and fucking over I CAN NEVER FUCKING THINK TO MYSELF OR DAYDREAM OR DO THINK OR FEEL ANY PROGRESS ANYWHERE ANYTHING BECAUSE OF FUCKING STRESS BECAUSE I CANT GET A BREAK FROM FUCKING NOISE AND MY BRAIN IS STUCK IN FLIGHT OR FLIGHT EVEN WHEN IM TRYING TO DAY DREAM
STRESS OF LIFE ONLY EVER FUCKING MADE IT WORSE. The ratio of bad to good noise as well as bad to good experiences or things ive heard in this lifetime is insane.
I'm literally going to hang myself. my earholes and brain is bleeding and my pos family nor my ex have never given a shit they only gave a fuck for the inconvenience it caused them hearing my tics because "oh ur mum is sleeping she was work tomorrow" "give ur mum a rest"
and this third world country is horrible why is it that everywhere i go its just fucking gross road noise and shit ugly ass noises i cannot ever and never caught a break. literally a permanent rest for my mind is death. i actually tried exposing myself against my will and, yes, it made it worse. my earholes just BLEED.
I did life all alone and ive never had close friends and anybody who i wanted to be friends w in the music industry it was gonna be a bit fucked how i explain to them that its hard to make beats bc i just have tic attacks. im not even working or worked hard. gave my laptop away and its been away from me for months cause i didnt work hard. but i want it back anyway tho. this is literal torture :(
i want someone to be there when i die im so lonely and a nobody. all my coping mechanisms on the inside for these kind of things have gone too. i cant even remember how or why. but they dont even work. the positive affirmations. its just the noise has invaded and won. its like a demons possessed me
STRESS OF LIFE ONLY EVER FUCKING MADE IT WORSE. The ratio of bad to good noise as well as bad to good experiences or things ive heard in this lifetime is insane.
I'm literally going to hang myself. my earholes and brain is bleeding and my pos family nor my ex have never given a shit they only gave a fuck for the inconvenience it caused them hearing my tics because "oh ur mum is sleeping she was work tomorrow" "give ur mum a rest"
and this third world country is horrible why is it that everywhere i go its just fucking gross road noise and shit ugly ass noises i cannot ever and never caught a break. literally a permanent rest for my mind is death. i actually tried exposing myself against my will and, yes, it made it worse. my earholes just BLEED.
I did life all alone and ive never had close friends and anybody who i wanted to be friends w in the music industry it was gonna be a bit fucked how i explain to them that its hard to make beats bc i just have tic attacks. im not even working or worked hard. gave my laptop away and its been away from me for months cause i didnt work hard. but i want it back anyway tho. this is literal torture :(
i want someone to be there when i die im so lonely and a nobody. all my coping mechanisms on the inside for these kind of things have gone too. i cant even remember how or why. but they dont even work. the positive affirmations. its just the noise has invaded and won. its like a demons possessed me
Last edited:
