Venting Might end it b4 my parents end their bank accounts

[HangMan123]

I wanted to stay till Christmas. Till June, actually. But, man are my parents making it difficult!
Long story short, they seized and snooped through my unlocked phone while I went out to walk my dog…
Saw some of my suicidal searches and ended up putting me back into therapy (I had been on-off for years and it never did anything, stopped altogether like 5 years ago).
It's $300 a session .
AND—as if that weren't bad enough—they're making me go three times a week. That's nearly $900 a week!
AND my dad, who is our main source of income, is going to lose his job soon bc some corporate conglomerate bought it, essentially monopolizing the industry, and is now firing everybody who worked for the company…
AND my sister and I are going to college next year…
AND…I don't know where they're getting the money from??? Like is my mom a secret drug lord (?)
AND the therapy is doing nothing. It's actually making me feel worse.
AND I told them that it's not working, that they're wasting their money, but they refuse to take me out of it bc my mom thinks that therapy is the only thing keeping me from killing myself even though it is for anxiety (?)
They're draining their bank accounts faster than my confidence when I need to talk to someone. It's getting to the point where I just want to CTB so they stop spending so much money on me.

 

[LostZombie]

Jesus this seems like a tough situation you are in. Mindless pro-lifers can honestly do more to worsen your state then improve it, it really sucks. So if you were to decide to CTB, then you should be 100% it will work as if you are "saved" they could bear the medical costs.

I just hope that they calm it down with the sessions, so they stop wasting their money; therapy just doesn't work for some people. I just hope you can find a solution to this problem, since it's clear you just want what's best for others.

 

[HangMan123]

Jesus this seems like a tough situation you are in. Mindless pro-lifers can honestly do more to worsen your state then improve it, it really sucks. So if you were to decide to CTB, then you should be 100% it will work as if you are "saved" they could bear the medical costs.

I just hope that they calm it down with the sessions, so they stop wasting their money; therapy just doesn't work for some people. I just hope you can find a solution to this problem, since it's clear you just want what's best for others.

Thanks for reading my post and for the kind words.
I hope the same, but my mom is pretty impossible to dissuade. I tried to bargain with her asking even if we just went twice a week but she still thinks I'm magically going to "lose it" if I don't have the extra session .
Anyways, I hope all is well with you.

 

[penguinl0v3s]

This may be dramatic, but could telling them your thoughts and emphasizing how it makes you feel more suicidal due to guilt of being a burden a possible way to get out of doing so much therapy?

Is your therapist good? My first thought is that they might just be extorting you for money. Therapy that often doesn't even let you have time to work on yourself before the next session.

 

[HangMan123]

This may be dramatic, but could telling them your thoughts and emphasizing how it makes you feel more suicidal due to guilt of being a burden a possible way to get out of doing so much therapy?

Is your therapist good? My first thought is that they might just be extorting you for money. Therapy that often doesn't even let you have time to work on yourself before the next session.

Thanks for taking the time to read and respond to my post!
The thing is that I don't want them to worry about me so I've been telling them that I'm not feeling suicidal anymore. If I were to tell them your suggestion:
1: They'd realize I was lying and probably surveil me even closer
2: They'd probably send me to a mental hospital
And, I think my therapist is good(?) I just don't think therapy really helps me, especially since I'm super reserved and shy, and even more so when it comes to wanting to CTB and depression. The three sessions/day was my crazy mom's idea, and she (my therapist) even acknowledged in our sessions that 3/week is "pretty unusual." Yet still my mom is still convinced that one less session a week would kill me, like they're wires keeping me on life support.
So I don't think it'd work, but thank you so much for the advice regardless!

 

[AstralMadness]

That's a rough spot to find yourself in for sure, it sucks when people don't listen to you and just make it worse