It's always okay to wait. And if you're still independent, in a way you are lucky that you have the option to do that.
Unfortunately for me, I do not have control over my soon-to-be future living situation and have already experienced what it was like living somewhere else like this where people did not listen to me and I didn't have someone to help advocate for me. Well, I had a little bit of help with that, but needed more.
There are treatments that I want to try, but I wanted to be able to do them while still at home, so that I wouldn't be sent to a mental hospital if I had negative side effects. And ideally, my family would also help assist me to do CTB if the treatments did cause me to become worse because I have already experienced pure torture caused by psychiatric medications. And my family also controls and prevents me from trying many things while I live with them now that I'm more dependent. Which I need their help to access because of how deep my depression has become. I also recently found out that I could have even more mental disorders than I originally thought and I was already overwhelmed by the ones that I thought I probably had.
And if I was able to be more independent and try these treatments first, I would probably wait. (Except that when I get desperate, all my doubts about something helping get stronger and it gets very difficult to resist. But, most of my time I don't have privacy anymore l, so it's impossible to attempt even when I feel like I need to this second.) Life in general is also more overwhelming than it has ever been though which is another thing that causes ideation. And other people can cause very deep emotional hurt to me which also causes the ideation. Along with being controlled instead of listened to and that is basically impossible for me to escape or get away from at this point since it has increased greatly. Plus, I did not have enough life skills/experience before that to be able to know what to do and how to have more control over certain situations.
Now I am talking too much about myself on your post. Basically, I'm agreeing with the people telling you that there's no rush. And I have also read about other people in contact with Dr. Nitschke from the PPH book, etc. who actually feel more comfortable staying here once they have access to an option because knowing that they have that option actually helps them feel better.
I feel like I don't want to encourage a person who changed their mind to keep a gun accessible though.
But I have heard some people say that their mental health and life changes a lot from age 18 or 19 to 21. And some people said it improved greatly. Unfortunately, I was not one of those people, but I also did not know how to access mental health treatment and my mental illnesses partially prevented me from doing it. I did realize a little bit after that age that I might have certain disorders which there are treatments, programs, and accomodations for. But I was not able to continue pursuing them because of the negative effects from medication and additional life trauma that happened.
What I am trying to say is that it's possible your life could still change in many ways that improve it over the next couple of years. I wish that I could go back to that age and get screened earlier for the things I know about now and try those treatments first. And also possibly take a year break to focus on mental health treatment and just learning life skills in general - which there are some programs that help teach people that.
