Love doesn't fix anything

[bongmentos]

Some of you out there believe that there's someone out there for you that will make life worth living. We all want to be cradled in someone's arms, be told that everything's alright, that we are unconditionally loved. I'm here to tell you that it doesn't fix anything.

It doesn't make you whole, doesn't make you right, to be told you're someone's reason for living. Especially when they live in as much suffering as you, want to die as much as you, would abandon this world if not for you. But even with them here, it's not living. It's waking up, worrying, going to sleep. An endless loop.

Love is never enough.

 

[Macedonian1987]

If I didn't had my numerous bodily health issues most of my mental issues would have been fixed with some love, but since love does not heal an aching body, then yea... love won't fix my life as it is currently now.

 

[clawsprit]

Some of you out there believe that there's someone out there for you that will make life worth living. We all want to be cradled in someone's arms, be told that everything's alright, that we are unconditionally loved. I'm here to tell you that it doesn't fix anything.

It doesn't make you whole, doesn't make you right, to be told you're someone's reason for living. Especially when they live in as much suffering as you, want to die as much as you, would abandon this world if not for you. But even with them here, it's not living. It's waking up, worrying, going to sleep. An endless loop.

Love is never enough.

' to be told you're someone's reason for living. Especially when they live in as much suffering as you, want to die as much as you, '

this sounds like a very unhealthy relationship so obviously it wont fix anything sadly. im not trying to invalidate your feelings, but genuine healthy love can actually help, a lot. its just verrryyyy rare to obtain

 

[RosebyAnyName]

If love isn't enough to make life worth living, then what is? And what do the people who think their life is worth living have that suicidal people don't? Wondering this myself.

A lot of people share your sentiments too. Some ctb because of loneliness as a major factor, others meanwhile will still say they're miserable even with a supportive family, partner, and friends.

 

[Cyc]

Love is never enough because it doesn't change your own perception of yourself, it only changes how you're perceived by others.

Some might be envious you're loved. Others might assume you're okay and your life is fine because you're being loved.

In your case, you seem to have the added responsibility of being someone's reason for living, which, as mentioned by @clawsprit sounds unhealthy. Centering your entire existence around one person certainely isn't normal

 

[fishperson]

im sorry but this is my wet dream. i have never fallen in love with someone , i have been obsessive over someone or got very attached to someone.
but straight up love? never and i know it would give me enough motivation to try again

 

[SarahThrowsGin]

Love is indeed overrated and by itself is never a virtue - think being done 'good' against your will. It is probably best not to believe in such a thing as 'true love'. Being appreciated is like fragile, passive hope that circumstances will change, but without attempt to actually change them. When therapy is not enough or even appropriate in first place, love wouldn't be either, and the question of which kind of love it is is therefore at best irrelevant (and otherwise, a distraction).

 

[scoba32]

Love is indeed overrated and by itself is never a virtue - think being done 'good' against your will. It is probably best not to believe in such a thing as 'true love'. Being appreciated is like fragile, passive hope that circumstances will change, but without attempt to actually change them. When therapy is not enough or even appropriate in first place, love wouldn't be either, and the question of which kind of love it is is therefore at best irrelevant (and otherwise, a distraction).

most people are too vain

 

[SarahThrowsGin]

most people are too vain

I don't think vanity has anything to do with the subject. Love by itself won't change one's circumstances, social, political, etc. unless the other individual actually physically helps with those, which is tangential to love.

 

[rainatthebusstop]

Who was it that said "Love was there. It didn't help but it was there"?

Anyway people forget love is a burden. It's a jail. It isn't a good thing on its own and when you know you should die it's nothing more than a road block.

 

[l1ablemistakes]

It love could fix me, I'd be cured. I have all the love I could ever want. That's why it makes leaving them so hard. For their sakes. They deserved better than me.

 

[Asya]

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[dearlydeparted44]

I've learned that if I don't love myself, then someone else's love won't mean anything. Not only that, but (for me personally) I'm just unfulfilled by this life. There's no purpose. Not a real one. I can make one up just to keep going. But I'm tired of suffering all the time. I'm tired of feeling alone. I've come to realize that human love is tied to utilitarian nature. What I can do for someone depends on how much or how deep their so-called love goes. If I'm of some use, then they love me. As much as I love the idea of unconditional love, I've come to realize that THAT doesn't even exist. No, not even in pets. They stick around because there's a warm place to sleep and food is easily accessible. No love in this life is unconditional. Not that of a mother or father. None of that.

If I don't have an internal love, nothing external will do. I don't know, I guess I'm just at a place where I've accepted this life for what is, and now I'm ready to leave. I sympathize with you and wish you the peace you seek.

 

[charlavail]

I think people who desire love have never really truly been in love. It's one of the most horrifying experiences in existence. The risk you take loving someone to then get your heartbroken is too high. The feeling of true heartbreak after loving someone deeply is like somone dying only worse because that person is still alive, they just decided they were better off without you.

 

[SoLowHollow48]

You don't want that love from someone else. You want a love that comes from yourself. It's never going to work out when it's from other people. The abuse, the violence, the trauma, the mistreatment---you must accept that you're not that happy kid in the playground anymore and that you're too damaged for others to "love" now.

So what if you're the mess you are now?

At the very least, you're not actively trying to destroy other people's lives. You're not just going to veer off the deep end like so many others before you. You're going to find solutions. You're going to fight for yourself, not others.

Also, yes, people who want love with and from others truly have never experienced what love is. It is messy it is selfish and it is unkind. Nothing like what they wrote on the bible.

 

[singingcrow]

Some of you out there believe that there's someone out there for you that will make life worth living. We all want to be cradled in someone's arms, be told that everything's alright, that we are unconditionally loved. I'm here to tell you that it doesn't fix anything.

It doesn't make you whole, doesn't make you right, to be told you're someone's reason for living. Especially when they live in as much suffering as you, want to die as much as you, would abandon this world if not for you. But even with them here, it's not living. It's waking up, worrying, going to sleep. An endless loop.

Love is never enough.

what makes you think this?