Darkover
Archangel
- Jul 29, 2021
- 5,540
Life™: The Lottery You Never Entered (But You're Still Paying For)
Congratulations!
You've just "won" the grand prize in the most brutal lottery in existence—Life™—despite never buying a ticket, never entering, and never asking to play.
One day, without warning, your number was drawn. You were dropped into a decaying biological vessel, on a chaotic planet, in a society you didn't choose, governed by rules you never agreed to. Your prize? A lifelong participation in a relentless, high-risk game with no do-overs, no escape clause, and no explanation.
No instructions. No consent. No warranty.
But don't worry—they call this a gift.
The Odds Were Never In Your Favor
You see, in this lottery, nobody actually wins. Sure, some players might stumble into short bursts of luck—wealth, love, fleeting joy—but the house always wins in the end. The wheel keeps spinning, and eventually, everyone loses.
Some get cancer.
Some lose their minds.
Some never even get a chance.
Everyone dies.
But hey, at least you get to suffer first, right?
Hidden Costs, Lifetime Payments
Once your number's called, the billing starts immediately. Not in cash—though you'll need plenty of that too—but in blood, time, and pain. You're expected to fund your own survival:
Need food? Work.
Sick? Pay up.
Depressed? Try not to complain too loudly.
Can't cope? You're the problem.
And don't expect a refund. You exist now—that's your problem.
No Ticket, No Exit
Now here's the kicker: You can't return your ticket. You didn't choose this, but you're stuck with it. Trying to leave the game early? That's taboo. You'll be shamed, guilt-tripped, locked up, or told to "get help"—all by people pretending this lottery is a blessing.
You'll be told:
"Life is precious!" (Even when it's unbearable.)
"Things will improve!" (They often don't.)
"Be grateful!" (For what, exactly?)
Meanwhile, the clock keeps ticking. Your body deteriorates. Your dreams erode. The jackpot? A slow exit. If you're lucky.
The Grand Prize: Oblivion
No matter how hard you try, how much you give, or how loudly you scream, the end is always the same—a return to nothingness. But not before you're squeezed dry, emotionally and physically, by a world that demands your participation but never your permission.
The irony? The only peace you get is at the very end—and you had to pay for it with every ounce of your being.
Final Verdict:
0/10 – Would Not Recommend
An existential scam disguised as a miracle. A lottery with no winners. A trap masquerading as a treasure.
Wouldn't it be nice if you could just say, "No thanks, I'll pass"?
Too bad.
You already got picked.
Congratulations!
You've just "won" the grand prize in the most brutal lottery in existence—Life™—despite never buying a ticket, never entering, and never asking to play.
One day, without warning, your number was drawn. You were dropped into a decaying biological vessel, on a chaotic planet, in a society you didn't choose, governed by rules you never agreed to. Your prize? A lifelong participation in a relentless, high-risk game with no do-overs, no escape clause, and no explanation.
No instructions. No consent. No warranty.
But don't worry—they call this a gift.
The Odds Were Never In Your Favor
You see, in this lottery, nobody actually wins. Sure, some players might stumble into short bursts of luck—wealth, love, fleeting joy—but the house always wins in the end. The wheel keeps spinning, and eventually, everyone loses.
Some get cancer.
Some lose their minds.
Some never even get a chance.
Everyone dies.
But hey, at least you get to suffer first, right?
Hidden Costs, Lifetime Payments
Once your number's called, the billing starts immediately. Not in cash—though you'll need plenty of that too—but in blood, time, and pain. You're expected to fund your own survival:
Need food? Work.
Sick? Pay up.
Depressed? Try not to complain too loudly.
Can't cope? You're the problem.
And don't expect a refund. You exist now—that's your problem.
No Ticket, No Exit
Now here's the kicker: You can't return your ticket. You didn't choose this, but you're stuck with it. Trying to leave the game early? That's taboo. You'll be shamed, guilt-tripped, locked up, or told to "get help"—all by people pretending this lottery is a blessing.
You'll be told:
"Life is precious!" (Even when it's unbearable.)
"Things will improve!" (They often don't.)
"Be grateful!" (For what, exactly?)
Meanwhile, the clock keeps ticking. Your body deteriorates. Your dreams erode. The jackpot? A slow exit. If you're lucky.
The Grand Prize: Oblivion
No matter how hard you try, how much you give, or how loudly you scream, the end is always the same—a return to nothingness. But not before you're squeezed dry, emotionally and physically, by a world that demands your participation but never your permission.
The irony? The only peace you get is at the very end—and you had to pay for it with every ounce of your being.
Final Verdict:
0/10 – Would Not Recommend
An existential scam disguised as a miracle. A lottery with no winners. A trap masquerading as a treasure.
Wouldn't it be nice if you could just say, "No thanks, I'll pass"?
Too bad.
You already got picked.
