Discussion life is just pure horror to some people

[Insomniac]

I don't interact much with my more distant relatives, but whenever I have to travel to visit them, I discover some horrifying thing that happened to my aunts, uncles, cousins. Things that I would have never even fathom (incest, suicide, domestic violence).

The darker my life becomes, the more comfortable people feel opening up to me.

there is this distant aunt of mine who has dementia and is ininsane. growing up, I never really questioned it. I thought she was always like that.

I recently learned that she hasn't always been like this and that when she was young, she was the most beautiful woman and that she was very wise and intelligent. I saw a pictures of her and I was horrified at the thought of such a person ending up like this. Her grandfather also had dementia but because he was old, her parents didn't listen to her when she told them that she was progressively losing her mind just like him. She was very intelligent and apparently realised it very early, when she was a teen. She started showing clear signs of madness at 28 years old. So ever since she was a teen, her parents brushed off her anxiety as her being too "negative" and "too anxious over nothing". she must have felt so alone and so misunderstood.

she once attempted to jump into a water well to drown herself but she was seen and rescued. apparently, having witnessed her grandfather descent into madness, she knew what her fate was and became socially withdrawn and lost in her thoughts. she became deeply spiritual and philosophical. People didn't know why she became so quiet and introverted. some people even say that her madness is her own fault, for having been so withdrawn at some point...

on the pictures of her I was shown, she looked depressed and cynical. I couldn't believe I was actually looking at the young her, there was so much soul, intelligence and awareness in her eyes... and... she was so unbelievably beautiful.

I couldn't have tell she was a beauty when she was young because she is disfigured by all her self inflicted injuries and resulting infections (due to her dementia).

this story deeply affected me.

I can't stop thinking about the pictures and the hopelessness in her eyes.. to think that she had to deal alone with the knowledge that that was going to become fully insane soon.

Perhaps what shoked me the most wasn't her story.

but me. my own ignorance. the horrifying gap between the way I perceived her before hearing about this, before seeing the pictures... and now. The way I perceive her now, after hearing about this.

It's scary how our mind makes us believe we understand reality. It's scary how ignorant we are and how lonely our ignorance can make another person feel.

 

[ascetic_]

Thank you for sharing this.

 

[FuneralCry]

Life is very horrible. Those who see it as something other than that are delusional. There is unlimited potential for suffering, there is no limit as to how bad things can get. If we think things are bad now they can always get much worse, and that is why I see it as being better to never be born in the first place. It sounds so awful what she had to go through, especially as there was nothing she could have done to prevent it.

 

[Lost Magic]

So many broken souls in the world. Society has a lot to answer for.

 

[Rational man]

Your story reminded me of my family to some extent. Behind their ' normal' facade, were a pack of dysfunctional charecters, desperate to be loved but were never loved. Bullies, abusers, etc. You know, the usual pattern. Older age caught up, of course, like karma ' s pay day. My grandad gassed himself. My father went gaga and escaped from the care home in a bid to SI.

The half fuck-wit that he is failed because the only fucking vehicle on the road stopped in good time. My only brother or whichever altered ego state, is the penultimate serial liar and bully. So as you can see, theres no love loss between me and my now estranged family.

i actually look back and laugh. I came out of it pretty okay and sane I think.

Perhaps I was ignorant to my perception of ' normality ' , was in fact something other than normalisation.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

I don't interact much with my more distant relatives, but whenever I have to travel to visit them, I discover some horrifying thing that happened to my aunts, uncles, cousins. Things that I would have never even fathom (incest, suicide, domestic violence).

I don't understand why people have kids just to abuse them. God complex? I know that I am actively suicidal so my opinions are biased. But I wonder how many actually enjoy living. Remove pointless distractions and life is so fucking meaningless. Just a slow march to the grave.

Maybe our problem is that we realized this too early in life. Most people probably don't look forward to death until old age or they get incurably sick.

 

[disabledlife]

I don't understand why people have kids just to abuse them. God complex? I know that I am actively suicidal so my opinions are biased. But I wonder how many actually enjoy living. Remove pointless distractions and life is so fucking meaningless. Just a slow march to the grave.

Maybe our problem is that we realized this too early in life. Most people probably don't look forward to death until old age or they get incurably sick.

When you were born disabled, and/or you see your loved ones die in terrible suffering, you know that you yourself are condemned to die, like everyone else.

But, in this situation, born disabled and/or having seen your loved ones die in unbearable agony, a slow death, know very young that you are going to die, like everyone else is going to die, but, in addition, you are going to die in atrocious suffering, such is the fate of your body condemned to this, with the example of your loved ones who suffered so much before dying.

This perception of life is horrible and you look for all the ways to die, from CTB, but others tell you that you are too young to die and prevent you from CTB, force you into a mental hospital, label you sick indiscriminate mind...

Apparently, even in countries that have legalized euthanasia or assisted suicide, you have to wait until you are old, very old, or at the end of life, to be able to die with dignity. In the meantime, the younger you are, the longer you have to wait in unbearable agony, with a degenerative disease in your body, because you are young, therefore able to live, and those people who blame you for being a coward, are, generally, people in good health, who have succeeded in their lives, never handicapped...

Never wonder why so many young people try to CTB by all means, and that this forum exists, despite all the means that pro-lifers have tried to shut it down!

Even Exit International forces you to prove, with an identity card and a photo of yourself, that you must be over 50 to access their forums, their PPeH and their help. This condemns young people to suffer and wait for the age of 50!

 

[Judy Garland]

Where have you been? I've missed you.