Last three weeks of life

[finish.me]

Got escorted off the place I was staying and hospitalized two weeks after finding a job I liked, I think I was self-sabatoging. Same night I get hospitalized and put in a psych ward. Lost all of my ID & bank card & fucking birth certificate and SSN, I carry a bag with all my shit in it cause I was part-timing being homeless. But I dropped it somewhere I guess. Back in butt fuck no where in New Jersey living with my abusive parents again. Extremely suicidal. I keep going to a dark place and grieving myself and then reactively thinking of reasons why I shouldn't die yet, but everyday it gets harder to ignore.

I've quit the meds they put me on in the hospital cold turkey cause I don't have any fucking ID to get the prescription they gave me.

I think I'm withdrawing from them cause Im getting so much worse than before that hospitalization. I can't get my meds or anything I can't even get alcohol or drugs not even weed or anything thatll make me feel anything that isn't fucking anger or nothing at all I don't even have access to my money for another week because I had to cancel my debit card and have it be re-delivered because fuck my life, fuck you. I want to die. I want drugs I want alcohol I want pills I want to feel any kind of euphoria im fucking begging.

I'm on my fucking knees begging. Someone please tell me what to do cause I need to be high I really fucking need to be on something. I want Vicodin I want alcohol and fucking anything at all please. What do I do, I mean seriously what should I do. Im going to start drinking hand sanitizer if I can't get my hands on something soon I'm fucking serious