Help Just wanna go now

[AnemoneNevrosa]

I'm at the point where I no longer want to wait, at the point where I feel ready to go now and capable of doing it.

I had planned the SN for next month, but I'm losing hope in finding it. Finding myself once again in this dead end makes my stomach twist, and waiting without knowing if I'll be able to get it while I'm constantly anxious is making me depressed.

I'm afraid of losing control and resorting to a method that's not recommended, one that might make me even worse. I have several options at my disposal: several prescription and over-the-counter medications — 20,000 mg of paracetamol, 2,800 mg of quetiapine, 5 g of Xanax, 2,500 mg of sertraline — do you think that would be enough? I've heard really bad things about paracetamol (between 3 and 8 painful days of waiting).

I also have a beautiful bottle of Japanese whisky that I was saving for the occasion.

Hanging is another possibility, on partial, but the risk of lasting injury worries me (I live alone, though).

I have to go back to work tomorrow, so my absence would be noticed, and I'm not worried about my cat.

Even if it's not for tonight, do you think one or the other of these scenarios could work?
Something kick with what I have on my possession ? I usually cut my arm so I know that is difficult by the way to leave. (I'm so afraid to surfer and finally ask for help and ruin everything and having moré traumas)

I had found the method that suited me, and now it's mission impossible… even the idea of taking the train crosses my mind but I prefered to be home and not expose my choice into to much people but I have the feeling to have no enought choice and I am afraid. I hate this world I hate myself

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

Why ODs Fail Miserably (A Guide)

There's still a lot of questions and inquiries about ODs, and people asking about what things may facilitate a successful attempt. Let's be clear, ODs are rarely fatal. Why? For a couple of reasons: (1) modern medications are designed to be very safe, as manufacturers aim to avoid deaths that...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[AnemoneNevrosa]

Why ODs Fail Miserably (A Guide)

There's still a lot of questions and inquiries about ODs, and people asking about what things may facilitate a successful attempt. Let's be clear, ODs are rarely fatal. Why? For a couple of reasons: (1) modern medications are designed to be very safe, as manufacturers aim to avoid deaths that...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Thanks so much for the resource — the smallest possible dose is really mind-blowing ! Even though I'm tempted, I think I'll stay away from it.

If I woke up after that, I'd feel really pathetic and even more hopeless.

 

[ChrisFromEarth]

I'm at the point where I no longer want to wait, at the point where I feel ready to go now and capable of doing it.

I had planned the SN for next month, but I'm losing hope in finding it. Finding myself once again in this dead end makes my stomach twist, and waiting without knowing if I'll be able to get it while I'm constantly anxious is making me depressed.

I'm afraid of losing control and resorting to a method that's not recommended, one that might make me even worse. I have several options at my disposal: several prescription and over-the-counter medications — 20,000 mg of paracetamol, 2,800 mg of quetiapine, 5 g of Xanax, 2,500 mg of sertraline — do you think that would be enough? I've heard really bad things about paracetamol (between 3 and 8 painful days of waiting).

I also have a beautiful bottle of Japanese whisky that I was saving for the occasion.

Hanging is another possibility, on partial, but the risk of lasting injury worries me (I live alone, though).

I have to go back to work tomorrow, so my absence would be noticed, and I'm not worried about my cat.

Even if it's not for tonight, do you think one or the other of these scenarios could work?
Something kick with what I have on my possession ? I usually cut my arm so I know that is difficult by the way to leave. (I'm so afraid to surfer and finally ask for help and ruin everything and having moré traumas)

I had found the method that suited me, and now it's mission impossible… even the idea of taking the train crosses my mind but I prefered to be home and not expose my choice into to much people but I have the feeling to have no enought choice and I am afraid. I hate this world I hate myself

Today I feel the same way but I force myself to not rush things and try to bear the unimaginable mental pain. I hope you are able to do the same

Please take care of your cat before ctb.
I am here for you if you want to talk.

Much love

 

[maplefig]

Non-methods that should not be attempted

mod note: this has been added to the suicide resource compilation at the top. This has been made in response to the ever increasing amount of posts made about highly unlikely methods. Please read before posting about one of these methods or feel free to link if someone does post about them...

sanctioned-suicide.net

I hope that this is helpful for you.

 

[AnemoneNevrosa]

Today I feel the same way but I force myself to not rush things and try to bear the unimaginable mental pain. I hope you are able to do the same

Please take care of your cat before ctb.
I am here for you if you want to talk.

Much love

Yes, it's her above all. I have no worries about her well-being — I've already made plans for her to be taken in by my ex, who adores her. I've even arranged to provide financial support, even though I know he'll take full responsibility.

It's hard because I don't see how I can keep going — even work has become distressing. I count the hours, I don't feel connected to reality anymore. Facing people is difficult; I feel like everything is written on my face. And yet I can still come across as radiant in brief, carefree moments — the contrast is striking because I'm really irritated and I no longer understand what people are asking me to do, I feel disconnected, like I'm somewhere else.

I can't stop thinking about how I'm going to end it now than I dont found a way out. Everything has felt unbearable from the first time I thought about dying (at 11) to when I seriously considered ending my life and have the feeling to have a Visa on earth with no ability to trust on the future (at 22 to 27) and now again (at 27) since I found out about a way to go that would suit me — yet it's out of reach. I've been very very patient with myself and the process, with periods of remission, but the crises are getting harder. Especially now that I know I could have the choice to act — having experienced the psychiatric world, its traumas, its hopes, and désappointements.

I appreciate your support and I hope to found the peace and change my mind for tonight

Non-methods that should not be attempted

mod note: this has been added to the suicide resource compilation at the top. This has been made in response to the ever increasing amount of posts made about highly unlikely methods. Please read before posting about one of these methods or feel free to link if someone does post about them...

sanctioned-suicide.net

I hope that this is helpful for you.

This ressource had really help me because when I was thinking I was doing the right things and finally was just shitty cliché who drive me directly at the hospital with there conséquences

I know I'm very impulsive when I feel this strong crisis so this website really help me to not make shit again

But I' m feeling like I have not serious issue