Just lol at pretending to have my shit together

[passepar2t]

Ha ha, I'm talking to a friend at work about investment and retirement planning and index funds and all that shit. I'm pretending like I'm a normal person with a normal credit score and normal prospects and certainly not spelunking through a financial crevasse with no hope of ever seeing daylight.

Meanwhile, my long term financial plan involves spending my life savings on a shotgun with a single cartridge. And possibly a towel to wrap around my head, if I have any leftover change.

 

[Deleted member 15021]

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. Keeping up pretences definitely isn't easy. I've done similar—applied for my first ever job (I'm 21) even though I know I'll never actually be around to start it because I want to go out knowing my parents (especially my dad, who never seemed satisfied) were proud of me for something.

 

[TAW122]

I have to put on a mask too IRL. It sucks but I must do it (even though not always successfully) just to keep others from suspecting anything odd before I'm ready to CTB. I am just biding my time as usual and my suifuel is just as potent as usual. I am just living life like fuck it, I don't really care about long term survival (getting a career, living a good life, etc.), I'm just so tired too.

Anyways, I'm sorry that life has been shit to you and I hope you find peace someday.

 

[bigtasty]

I feel you, I've always got a happy go lucky persona on whenever I'm at work or with somebody but all I'm ever thinking about is finally dying.