rabbithole
Experienced
- Oct 26, 2020
- 271
But SI kicked in or something. Mostly I thought of my parents finding me and how horrified they would be. It's weird...I am absolutely tortured by horrific thoughts + physical discomfort (I have something called saddle anesthesia...groin, butt and perianal area are all numb. So no sexual function at all) and horrible physical pain but as soon as I go to do something I feel like no, i can't give up my life. I think it's because before this happened I genuinely enjoyed life. Or aspects of it anyway. I mean, at the very least I had a boyfriend to cuddle and watch movies with. That was a huge comfort. Plus Netflix shows to indulge in and video games to escape with. Now I am too consumed with my physical condition to even watch a cartoon. I lost everything to this. Fuck.
guys I don't mean for this to come across as insensitive at all but if all you do is play video games and watch movies and indulge in escapism don't feel guilty please. That's enough of a life. There are people who love you and want you around even if you're not the highest functioning individual. I know this doesn't change feelings because that's not how mental health works but try to be gentle on yourselves PLEASE.
guys I don't mean for this to come across as insensitive at all but if all you do is play video games and watch movies and indulge in escapism don't feel guilty please. That's enough of a life. There are people who love you and want you around even if you're not the highest functioning individual. I know this doesn't change feelings because that's not how mental health works but try to be gentle on yourselves PLEASE.
