Just had a horrible moment at work. I'm freaking out a bit.

[BitterlyAlive]

I was talking with a coworker. They were curious about the environment of the job. We were talking about respect and I mentioned I had been bullied on the job. The coworker had a very intense reaction. Their voice changed, their movements got sharp. They seemed angry. They were telling me I allowed the bullying to continue because I didn't write them up. How I should have stood up for myself and I should never put up with being treated that way. They asked me why I didn't do anything. They said something about being weak and idk if they were talking about me or my coworkers who bullied me, but I feel like it was about me.

I felt frozen. It was like I was a child again, being yelled at by my parents and ridiculed. Being told to get out of their sight. I felt so ashamed, embarrassed, and guilty talking about the bullying and remembering it, and the feelings multiplied as soon as my coworker started in on me. My hands and forearms are tingling, I feel sick. I'm dizzy and nauseous and I've been crying in the bathroom like a dramatic little shit.

Fuck. When I get home later I'll probably end up cutting. This is too much. I deserved to be lectured like that because it's my fault. I don't care about the cutting because I fucking deserve that too and need to numb this shit. I wish I could go home right now.

I just remembered they also lectured me about how we're not in grade school anymore. Oh my God

 

[Life_and_Death]

its not your fault. i was in the exact same situation at work where someone was bulling me. they are right about writing the person up however the way they handled it might not have been the right way to go about it

 

[woxihuanni]

I was talking with a coworker. They were curious about the environment of the job. We were talking about respect and I mentioned I had been bullied on the job. The coworker had a very intense reaction. Their voice changed, their movements got sharp. They seemed angry. They were telling me I allowed the bullying to continue because I didn't write them up. How I should have stood up for myself and I should never put up with being treated that way. They asked me why I didn't do anything. They said something about being weak and idk if they were talking about me or my coworkers who bullied me, but I feel like it was about me.

I felt frozen. It was like I was a child again, being yelled at by my parents and ridiculed. Being told to get out of their sight. I felt so ashamed, embarrassed, and guilty talking about the bullying and remembering it, and the feelings multiplied as soon as my coworker started in on me. My hands and forearms are tingling, I feel sick. I'm dizzy and nauseous and I've been crying in the bathroom like a dramatic little shit.

Fuck. When I get home later I'll probably end up cutting. This is too much. I deserved to be lectured like that because it's my fault. I don't care about the cutting because I fucking deserve that too and need to numb this shit. I wish I could go home right now.

You don't deserve it. What they did is bullying, too. Bullying is like mass, it attracts more of it. Has nothing to do with you, it is not on you.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

its not your fault. i was in the exact same situation at work where someone was bulling me. they are right about writing the person up however the way they handled it might not have been the right way to go about it

It was way too intense and aggressive

You don't deserve it. What they did is bullying, too. Bullying is like mass, it attracts more of it. Has nothing to do with you, it is not on you.

It felt terrible. God

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Sounds like victim blaming and bullying in itself. I hate that kind of attitude, makes me angry. It's hard to ignore it but I guess that's what you have to try and do.
I worked in journalism for many years. You got bullied everyday, that's just how it was. I learned to ignore it but it took awhile and that doesn't mean that's how it should be.

 

[Lostandlooking]

Your coworker sounds like a piece of shit.

Sending you hugs

 

[BitterlyAlive]

Sounds like victim blaming and bullying in itself. I hate that kind of attitude, makes me angry. It's hard to ignore it but I guess that's what you have to try and do.
I worked in journalism for many years. You got bullied everyday, that's just how it was. I learned to ignore it but it took awhile and that doesn't mean that's how it should be.

I've never been able to ignore being bullied. It always hurts so bad. I'm sorry you had to learn to ignore it - but in that field, you'd burn out so quickly if you couldn't. That's rough.

Your coworker sounds like a piece of shit.

Sending you hugs

I thought they were cool at first but then this happened. I was held up with them for like 45 minutes.

 

[Huntfish34]

I've been in fairly similar situations at my job as well,. Very uncomfortable and cruel it can all be. =\. Fckn sucks.

Wishing you the best of luck moving forward.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I've been in fairly similar situations at my job as well,. Very uncomfortable and cruel it can all be. =\. Fckn sucks.

Wishing you the best of luck moving forward. ❤

Thanks. I gotta just get over it but I'm gonna have to work with this person a lot. And they want to be in the ER all the time. I can't deal with such an intense and rude person. Patients are one thing - that's easy. Coworkers? Eh....

 

[BetterInthanOut]

I'm sorry to hear about what they said, some people are just awful

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I'm sorry to hear about what they said, some people are just awful

I talked to a coworker about it and she said that this other coworker just gets passionate when they hear about bullying. Maybe they were just telling me things they had to tell themselves to cope with some hard things... But it still felt horrible.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Sounds like they've been bullied too and were maybe projecting. Maybe you got caught up in their PTSD reaction.

 

[BipolarGuy]

It's possible that this person was angry to hear that you had been bullied, and feels that some kind of justice should have followed.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

Sounds like they've been bullied too and were maybe projecting. Maybe you got caught up in their PTSD reaction.

Yeah. After my coworker told me that, it got me thinking the same thing. I'm not so upset anymore. I feel like an ass now but meh.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

It's understandable that you had a strong reaction to a strong reaction that was being blasted at you.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

It's understandable that you had a strong reaction to a strong reaction that was being blasted at you.

I think I was having an emotional flashback, and perhaps she was too. Damn. PTSD: The gift that keeps on giving.

What a crappy situation.

It's possible that this person was angry to hear that you had been bullied, and feels that some kind of justice should have followed.

Yeah. I just got really caught up in self esteem, anxiety and trauma shit. Now I can take a step back and be shown another perspective.