Venting Just another continuation of my life if you wish to read

[giratina]

The other day, for my birthday on the 23rd my family had organised swimming with sharks (I love sharks and want to work with marine life) which made me really happy, and then I feel like I am getting things sorted for university kinda. I was quite hopeful for the next few weeks. Today, my father has told me his cancer is worsening, there is another lump in his prostate, he is getting it checked on Tuesday. And will only start radiotherapy if it has reached stage 3. I tried to tell him to get treated earlier in the past before it progresses but he said no, now it is at this point. I'm scared and worried. I don't want to leave this world in a stage where my father is struggling for his life. However I don't want to only be tied to this world out of guilt for leaving my family behind. It feels selfish of me once again to die and be free but it would just place my mind at peace. I don't want to ever tell my parents about my mental state, it will worsen my father I think. I feel worse for wear now. I just feel like people who do their best and try their hardest are never rewarded, my father is a good man I don't want him to go. I hope he gets cured. I'm struggling to cope.