But I'm FUCKING SCARED. I can't beat my survival instinct. I tried drinking and looking for someone to do it with, but I failed. If I were an American, I'd shoot myself in the head without a second's hesitation. I bet. Or I could have used SN. I'm that desperate. I have to die, regardless of my will... My life is irreparable. I resent my country for not being able to die comfortably.
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DivineSpark
Elementalist
- Feb 9, 2025
- 831
No high buildings in my city, also got very strict gunlaws in my country, so I cannot gain access to firearms.
I didn't expect that. Since everyone lives in an apartment here, there are lots of buildings over 15 stories. It would be hard if there was no suitable place. Is it hard to get a SN?
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 43,809
I understand, it's just so cruel to me how the option to die painlessly like falling into an permanent sleep is denied, I just want to cease existing in peace and never suffer ever again. But anyway I wish you the best, I hope you find the freedom from suffering you search for.
I'd only have the guts to jump if I was really desperate and as last ditch. It must be scary. Personally I'd rather take sn or something.
JamesMoonDerWater
Member
- Mar 21, 2025
- 27
We got you, totally. SI is really a bitch. I truly hope that you find peace here or somewhere else
ForeverCaHa
Heartbroken Welshman
- Feb 16, 2025
- 443
I feel like the survival instinct with jumping would be off the charts. Like, unbelievable. I live near the coast, so I know it's an option if I get desperate, but the thought of going through with it terrifies me. It's a completely natural response, so don't beat yourself up about it!
NonEssential
Hanging in there
- Jan 15, 2025
- 469
It's a method I've wanted to go for, but nothing here is high enough to guarantee (or at least 99%) death. I wouldn't want to fuck up and have to live the rest of my life being crippled.
bananaolympus
Specialist
- Dec 12, 2024
- 335
In my experience is not terrifying actually the opposite when i let myself go i felt a big relief
dissolved_girl
i'll be gone soon.
- Mar 16, 2025
- 16
i'm in the exact same situation as you oh my god. i'm going to jump too, but if i were an american i would also shoot myself. i wish you luck and the peace you have been searching for.
Spicy Tteokbokki
매운 떡볶이
- Oct 11, 2020
- 258
Jumping when/if I do decide to go will likely be my option as well, though like DivineSpark, I also don't have any high places to jump from in my city, except for one place which would be high enough, but I'd have to break into someone's apartment and that wouldn't exactly be ideal..
Halfhourdays
"Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt."
- Mar 14, 2025
- 625
I've tried to jump. I just can't overcome my SI.
Same (like we were speaking about earlier), I would consider jumping but there's literally nothing over 4 stories near me.
I really want to, but I can't get SN in my country. I wish I had the same nationality as you
That's also a huge scare. If I'm unlucky enough to survive being smashed all over... Fuck I don't even want to imagine.
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I know. I can't even jump. I can't walk anymore, so being able to jump isn't even an option. I wish I could go to the top of a high rise & just take one last step. I can't even do that. I hate this. It feels like death is taunting me. Like oblivion is so close, but still out of reach. I HATE this. It hurts to breathe from being so alone.
I went to Beachy Head to do it, but got too scared to go through with it. Looking down from that height is terrifying. Wish I had more courage.
