job ideas?

[Lavendel]

thought this was the perfect place to ask.

i have a Bachelor degree in social science and something like law. Problem is that Not only am I suicidal but Not really working towards that but
I lost my way of thinking after multiple psychosis episodes and schizophrenia. i have been recovering since a year.

i can't tell stories without texting (much less repeating what has been said shortly before includes remembering what has been said), i have trouble remembering more than 3 words after a discussion. oh yeah and that also gives me trouble having senseful talks. that is, in real life. whatsapp no problem

i have disturbed Train of thoughts (no concentration), i used to be able to think more than 8 hours straight with breaks inbetween. now i can't even do one and if I do, I don't recall the things that have been said unless one big sentence that doesnt even round up half of the topic.

handling money gives me anxiety (i.e. working at the Register), im bad at calculating, counting and thinking with money. anything with money is bad for me.

most of all, im not good with strangers. im not even good with those closest to me. there's a huge dissonance between me and my environment I believe. people give me anxiety. with their thinking, their expectations, their aggressiveness, relentnessness and always knowing you better than yourself and knowing whats best for you etc. you know where Im getting at. I, either, freeze or ignore my surroundings. i dont think that is any good for a job. its funny, i have a bachelor degree but i have an uneasy feeling dealing with people. this tuition thing is nothing when you dont have social skills

so what job do you guys think I can do/give it a thought?

as much as I think I have to work I also think about not doing anything but I feel kinda useless that way, just living of the state, doing nothing all day. I think dying would be much more reasonable instead.

I seriously hate the way this world works.

Im thinking about keeping myself busy but it all seems so meaningless. especially when you are surrounding yourself with expectations and voices in your head that hate and judge everything you do.

and I had more thoughts than this but I get lost in my thoughts everytime, I forget all the time.

it makes me pretty sad but on the bright side, the hardcore suicidal thoughts after my psychosis phase have stopped. I was so devasteted after finding out about my cognitive abilities being broken into pieces. but I dont seek suicide on my own attempt anymore but if a bus should catch me, i wont complain.

what job is there that doesnt need constant concentration and is bachelordegree adaptable
i remembered what I wanted to write:

i would also think it would be sad to leave my mum alone. sometimes its a side thought, sometimes more
oh and im not being honest to myself, whoever that is. which means i cant be honest to others

 

[Severen]

Google jobs for misanthropes and you might find some helpful responses, maybe.

 

[Soul]

Is there a museum in your vicinity? I enjoyed working as museum "security"; I found that if I was sketching the exhibits the public left me alone. It didn't pay well but you don't indicate that that's an issue, so ... ?

 

[Lavendel]

Is there a museum in your vicinity? I enjoyed working as museum "security"; I found that if I was sketching the exhibits the public left me alone. It didn't pay well but you don't indicate that that's an issue, so ... ?

if you worked as security, doesnt that involve looking at other people if they are being suspicious?

Google jobs for misanthropes and you might find some helpful responses, maybe.

sounds crazy and I haven't thought about that

 

[Dead beat dad]

Maybe something working with animals?

 

[Soul]

if you worked as security, doesnt that involve looking at other people if they are being suspicious?

For most of the security it meant sitting around in the cafeteria. I was one of the few walking around - I liked that museum a lot. There was nothing to shoplift so unless people were smashing the exhibition cases there was no reason to regard them with suspicion.