• UK users: Due to a formal investigation into this site by Ofcom under the UK Online Safety Act 2023, we strongly recommend using a trusted, no-logs VPN. This will help protect your privacy, bypass censorship, and maintain secure access to the site. Read the full VPN guide here.

  • Hey Guest,

    Today, OFCOM launched an official investigation into Sanctioned Suicide under the UK’s Online Safety Act. This has already made headlines across the UK.

    This is a clear and unprecedented overreach by a foreign regulator against a U.S.-based platform. We reject this interference and will be defending the site’s existence and mission.

    In addition to our public response, we are currently seeking legal representation to ensure the best possible defense in this matter. If you are a lawyer or know of one who may be able to assist, please contact us at [email protected].

    Read our statement here:

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC): 34HyDHTvEhXfPfb716EeEkEHXzqhwtow1L
    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9
    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8
M

Mia Wallace

Member
Jun 14, 2020
99
Does anyone here want to just give it one last go at life? I've sat here more suicidal than ever before and am thinking what do I have to lose at this point? Kinda like the quote "it's not until you lost everything that you are free to do anything" Maybe once I can get myself some proper sleep and get my anxiety under control which has led to a host of other problems...really give it my all at everything whole heartedly and change things around. Give myself proper nutrition, exercise, meditate and drink more water and steer clear of booze or anything unhealthy. Try to read self help books and get back into hobbies that used to make me me. Thanks for letting me rant. I just am so all over the place right now and I remember being truly happy before even through I don't remember the feeling...I know that I was. That's what gives me a glimmer of hope although it does bring me comfort to know if I can't get myself back I can resort to ending things but in that mindset I don't think I could ever fully recover. Thoughts?
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Lostandlooking, Mustkeyknow, nerve and 2 others
so tired or manic

so tired or manic

Arcanist
Jun 12, 2020
462
a day at a time. some of those days are very suicidal. it's about getting through those days and finding the silver linings that make it possible. I feel like one of these days I'll run out of silver linings and that's okay too. then I'll be ready.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: Lostandlooking, Mia Wallace and Sensei
M

Mia Wallace

Member
Jun 14, 2020
99
a day at a time. some of those days are very suicidal. it's about getting through those days and finding the silver linings that make it possible. I feel like one of these days I'll run out of silver linings and that's okay too. then I'll be ready.
Hugs to you. I get it. So much.
 
Deleted member 18655

Deleted member 18655

Enlightened
Jun 4, 2020
1,422
I get it. I'm there now. Or, I could be if I let myself think like that again.

I have a second job interview tomorrow. I could get hopeful for the new job, keep looking for a therapist (two have backed out so far this month), put myself head-first into my trauma group, phone my social safety net and lean on them... and hope for another go at life. Again... but I'm afraid it would just be temporary again and the next fall would be even lower than this one. And, for this one, the stuff's in the mail...

Hope is a gamble :meh:
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Lostandlooking
T

timf

Enlightened
Mar 26, 2020
1,369
Hope placed on a person, place, or thing may be more vulnerable to disappointment. Hope placed on the knowledge of what is possible can sustain one through transient lapses. Experiemntation is critical to discovering what works and what doesn't. Each "victory" becomes something to keep in the toolbox of life.
 
D

Deleted member 1465

_
Jul 31, 2018
6,914
Last year in September I was going to hang myself. I had a good rope and I'd selected the tree in the field behind my house.
I walked out there in the rain and when I got to the tree,I found someone had already tied a noose to the branch. I kid you not. I stood there in the rain and the cold and looked at the noose dangling there mocking me.
And I started laughing.
I stood in the rain and laughed my broken heart out.
Then I went back to my house and swept up the broken bits of my shit life as best I could and carried on.
No drama.
The tree and the noose are still there. I pass it every day and chuckle to myself. The universe is mocking. :sunglasses:
 
  • Love
Reactions: Mia Wallace
L

Lostandlooking

In limbo
Jul 23, 2020
467
I'm always trying to get better. Sometimes working on getting better just isn't possible. But for me, when I can get enough rest and quiet I start to stabilize and I start trying again. Cautiously. I'll keep on trying until I can't anymore. If I keep falling down I'll quit at some point. Everytime I crash ctb gets a little bit closer.

The concept of hope is meaningless to me. Just depends on your circumstances I guess. I just don't get it. Things will get better or they won't. Hoping won't change that. I just keep trying.
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
Reactions: Mia Wallace
Deleted member 17949

Deleted member 17949

Visionary
May 9, 2020
2,238
I do get feelings like this. For me the problem is that I can't seem to gather momentum; when I do make an achievement I still feel sad and don't feel motivated to try more. I think this could easily be depression or some shit so maybe it can be addressed with meds. I will see.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Mia Wallace

Similar threads

3FailedAttemptss
Replies
3
Views
218
Recovery
3FailedAttemptss
3FailedAttemptss
Moniker
Replies
5
Views
133
Suicide Discussion
22yearsbroken
22yearsbroken
qwert3948
Replies
0
Views
101
Suicide Discussion
qwert3948
qwert3948
incision
Replies
7
Views
209
Suicide Discussion
Promised Heaven
Promised Heaven
willitpass
Replies
9
Views
414
Suicide Discussion
willitpass
willitpass