Tobacco
Efilist. Possible promortalist.
- Jan 14, 2023
- 202
And I'll continue to do so.
Being too honest with a therapist led me to confessing to him about this place and he was absolutely repulsed by the idea. It just made me want to interact more in here. I went through great anxiety and decided I won't see that therapist anymore.
My psychiatrist appointment came and I told him everything about the conflict with the therapist and this place. He just listened and didn't judge me.
In the two months that went by between appointments I had some technical difficulties. That is, not having a method to mark the last browser tab I read. I have already like 60 tabs open from this and other forums, news, blog posts... I lost track of which threads I was making progress in reading and which were getting relegated. Some things started changing in my life and I started to feel better. I didn't have the need to come back here and tell my struggles. I started feeling less burdened by the thought of realizing all the sufferings in the world.
Other two months went by and I saw my psychiatrist again and I confirmed him that I had stopped frequenting this site. He was supportive and told me that maybe it was for the best so that I could just focus on my own problems instead. I joined here wanting to support people making them feel heard.
Right now I'm centering in my studies. I want to work giving math lessons to students so basically I'm a NEET studying college algebra so that I can start getting an income again. I wish everyone could have the same opportunities as me but I guess I've just been lucky. I remember responding in a thread that asked what would make us stop feeling suicidal that I would like to just have free time to study math. I guess that's why I've been feeling so good these last few months.
I'm not a pro-lifer, I'm still an antinatalist. I think I'm going to come back but I want to give myself a few more months.
Being too honest with a therapist led me to confessing to him about this place and he was absolutely repulsed by the idea. It just made me want to interact more in here. I went through great anxiety and decided I won't see that therapist anymore.
My psychiatrist appointment came and I told him everything about the conflict with the therapist and this place. He just listened and didn't judge me.
In the two months that went by between appointments I had some technical difficulties. That is, not having a method to mark the last browser tab I read. I have already like 60 tabs open from this and other forums, news, blog posts... I lost track of which threads I was making progress in reading and which were getting relegated. Some things started changing in my life and I started to feel better. I didn't have the need to come back here and tell my struggles. I started feeling less burdened by the thought of realizing all the sufferings in the world.
Other two months went by and I saw my psychiatrist again and I confirmed him that I had stopped frequenting this site. He was supportive and told me that maybe it was for the best so that I could just focus on my own problems instead. I joined here wanting to support people making them feel heard.
Right now I'm centering in my studies. I want to work giving math lessons to students so basically I'm a NEET studying college algebra so that I can start getting an income again. I wish everyone could have the same opportunities as me but I guess I've just been lucky. I remember responding in a thread that asked what would make us stop feeling suicidal that I would like to just have free time to study math. I guess that's why I've been feeling so good these last few months.
I'm not a pro-lifer, I'm still an antinatalist. I think I'm going to come back but I want to give myself a few more months.
