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augenunternull230

Member
Mar 27, 2022
10
Got a nylon rope up around my door. I hurt my girlfriend badly. And it's not fixable. Except for by this.
 
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alwaysalone

Student
May 14, 2025
191
So sorry I hope you find your peace
 
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locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Archangel
Apr 15, 2022
8,937
How do you think she will feel about your ctb?
 
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augenunternull230

Member
Mar 27, 2022
10
But she'll have guilt about it?
This wasnt her fault. I had a sexual conversation with somebody online. I didn't mean for it to be hurtful, I'm studying for the bar exam and I'm just under a tremendous amount of stress and I wasn't really in my right mind. But it's done now. And she's for some reason decided to take me back but I don't deserve it
 
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locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Archangel
Apr 15, 2022
8,937
This wasnt her fault. I had a sexual conversation with somebody online. I didn't mean for it to be hurtful, I'm studying for the bar exam and I'm just under a tremendous amount of stress and I wasn't really in my right mind. But it's done now. And she's for some reason decided to take me back but I don't deserve it
People don't give mercy because someone deserves it. They give mercy because someone needs it. I suggest you allow her to take you back and have a stronger relationship because of it.
 
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augenunternull230

Member
Mar 27, 2022
10
People don't give mercy because someone deserves it. They give mercy because someone needs it. I suggest you allow her to take you back and have a stronger relationship because of it.
I don't think her or her family or her friends are truly capable of forgiving me for this.
 
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locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Archangel
Apr 15, 2022
8,937
I don't think her or her family or her friends are truly capable of forgiving me for this.
Man, I think that's the guilt talking. I think you should let her make up her own mind about whether she can forgive you, or not. Seems that she can since she's willing to take you back. I think you may be doing her another "wrong" in that you're projecting onto her what you feel her capacity for forgiveness is. In essence, you're selling her short. She's the only one who can say for certain whether she can forgive you, should forgive you, or wants to forgive you. The real question is are you big enough to accept her forgiveness? I think you need to forgive yourself, too, perhaps even first, and understand that all of us make mistakes, even big ones, but, even so, that doesn't make us unforgiveable, even to ourselves. We make mistakes so we can learn, and sometimes we even learn more about ourselves while making them. Everyone deserves a second chance once in a while. Give it to yourself. Apparently, your gf feels you worthy of it. You should too.
 
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gojidoge

gojidoge

Member
May 25, 2025
43
You are very lucky to have her wanting to take you back. I'm sure a lot of others would give anything to have that, as do I. I wish it was the same for me...
 
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augenunternull230

Member
Mar 27, 2022
10
You are very lucky to have her wanting to take you back. I'm sure a lot of others would give anything to have that, as do I. I wish it was the same for me...
Thank you for being honest with me. I just don't know if I deserve it.
Man, I think that's the guilt talking. I think you should let her make up her own mind about whether she can forgive you, or not. Seems that she can since she's willing to take you back. I think you may be doing her another "wrong" in that you're projecting onto her what you feel her capacity for forgiveness is. In essence, you're selling her short. She's the only one who can say for certain whether she can forgive you, should forgive you, or wants to forgive you. The real question is are you big enough to accept her forgiveness? I think you need to forgive yourself, too, perhaps even first, and understand that all of us make mistakes, even big ones, but, even so, that doesn't make us unforgiveable, even to ourselves. We make mistakes so we can learn, and sometimes we even learn more about ourselves while making them. Everyone deserves a second chance once in a while. Give it to yourself. Apparently, your gf feels you worthy of it. You should too.
I just don't know if I can forgive myself
 
A

augenunternull230

Member
Mar 27, 2022
10
Got a nylon rope up around my door. I hurt my girlfriend badly. And it's not fixable. Except for by this.
Update: Upon some investigation today, my apartment isn't exactly full of suitable ligature points. What I'm going to have to do is step from a stool I have onto a trash can, put my head in the noose, and then step off the trash can. Hopefully that will get me high enough up that when I fall, my feet don't touch the ground.

I made various attempts at partial hanging last night and this morning,but to no avail. Unfortunately with partial, I can still get my feet on the ground and get to a point where I can save myself. With full, especially in combination with the sleeping drugs I picked up and the alcohol I might pick up later, I think I'll be so sedated and high off the ground that nothing can stop me.
 

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